Reading Machine Losing Gasoline

I'm usually a pretty good reader.

English/Language Arts was always my favorite subject in school. Except for Ms. Gantert's class when I got in trouble for flirting with a boy and he didn't get in trouble for flirting back with me! The only thing I learned in that class was that some old ladies still favored sexism! (If I hear "boys will be boys" one more time...) Even when we were reading things I didn't particularly like (Their Eyes Were Watching God, anyone?), I still liked reading and could finish a story. In my life, I've hardly ever not been able to finish a book.

And in the last few months I've come across 6 books that I can't seem to get through.

1. East of Eden - recommended to me by my old boss (as in, he doesn't work there anymore. Not that he's particularly elderly) who I really liked, so I figured his suggestion was a good one. Not true. I mean, it's deep and all. It's just so. slow.

2. A Breath of Snow and Ashes - the sixth book in the Outlander series. This makes me particularly sad because I really enjoyed the first four books. Maybe it's because each book is about a thousand pages, but I'm just Outlandered Out.

3. Desperation - this cemented my feelings that I'm not a Stephen King fan unless he's writing under the pseudonym Richard Bachman. This was on audio book, so I did finish it. But it was painful.

4. The Warrior Heir - it should have been a tip-off that this audio book was found in the Young Adult section of the library. Are all modern authors just junk? Am I a cynic and a harsh judge because I want so desperately to be a writer and taken seriously myself? Where are the Jane Austens of our time?

5. The Mermaid Chair - also on audio book. This one was a #1 best seller, so I figured it had to be good, right? Never mind about the plight to find a current Jane Austen...this author tries so hard to be deep and poignant but ends up being obvious. I keep finding myself rolling my eyes in the car. I'm almost done with it, but keep deciding I'd rather listen to the sounds of traffic than listen to more of this book.

6. Stone of Tears - the second in the Sword of Truth series, recommended to me by Jaye. Loved the first one because of the romance. I've been told in advance that the second book has the two main characters separated the whole time. This is not providing much motivation to wade through nearly 1000 pages without any making out going on.

With the exception of the first Sword of Truth book, I haven't really found a book lately that I did like! What's happened to me?!?

Can anyone cure me of this literary apathy? Can anyone recommend a great read? There's not a lot I don't like, except for chairs of mermaids and Stephen King, apparently. It doesn't even have to be deep - I could really use some light cruise reading material!