My Baby is Sick (not in the good way, like people referring to awesome things as totally sick. Even though she is totally sick in the awesome way too)

June is sick for the first time and I’m totally bummed.

A part of me is like, “WTF, breastmilk!?! You were supposed to have magical powers that would keep my baby from getting sick until she’s 47 years old!” The other part is impressed that she doesn’t have the Plague, considering what she’s gone through in the past two weeks. She:

- Went to daycare, where she is the new shiny object of interest for the room at large, and two older twin boys with runny noses in particular.
- Drove to and from California
- Had her daily routine all messed up
- Had her feet dipped in the cold ocean
- Traveled in a festering box of recycled air with 150 other people of questionable health (an airplane)
- Changed time zones – 3 hours ahead, then two, then back to three, then back home
- Hung out in a nursing home

Baby’s got the sniffles. Her congestion is really the worst part of it, because my wonderful, magical, sleeps-through-the-night-every-night baby has been replaced with an entity who sounds like a grunting piglet whose rattling breath wakes herself up every few hours. June and I haven’t slept so well for the past few nights, but she wants to sleep all day (when her congestion isn’t as bad), which terrifies me that we’re on a one-way road to Reverse Cycling. (Baby sleeps all day and wants to play all night.)

She also is sneezing up a storm and gives these little cof cof cofs every once in awhile...after both she gives these sighs/coos that aren't necessarily from displeasure, they sound more like, "What a world!"

We’ve tried a few home remedies, including squirting breast milk up her nose. Fact of the day: it’s not the mucus that makes it hard to breathe, although it certainly doesn’t help. The cold virus inflames the membranes inside of the nostrils, and it’s the swelling that makes you feel like there’s a pinto bean stuck exactly where your nose connects to your face. Also: breast milk is the all-in-one medical fix for many baby problems. Eye or ear infection? Put some BM in it. (Not that BM.) A scratch? Put some BM on it. The problem with trying to get some BM up your baby’s nose is that the nose is so near the mouth. So whenever I try with June, her eyes get all wide and she starts squirming around, and I’m like, “Let me put this in your nostril,” but she’s like, “OMG BOOB!” and tries to get at it with her mouth and we end up wrestling around like a pair of eels. So yeah…that’s still a work in progress.

We’ve also tried getting rid of some of the mucus, which found Michael and me standing over our little snotty darling this morning trying to suck out her mucus with what looks like a tiny turkey baster. “There’s still one up there…” “You’re not doing it right, let me…” “I think this one is plastered to the nostril wall…” “Ooh, that sounded juicy! Nice one!” Who have we become?!?!