Nursery Tour!

I present to you our baby boy's nursery!

The view from the door - the crib with a little pine tree garland hanging above it. 

I feel like the one thing we're still missing is a big photo of our family in here. I think that a big old canvas of a portrait of our family (after the baby's born) would look good and fill the space to the right of the crib in the picture above.

Our glider and pine tree decal. That's the door to the little closet.

A close-up of some of the wall decor. The moose is Fred Jr. from this site, the bear I painted (more from this post) and the 'B' was just painted onto a raw cut of wood that I bought at Hobby Lobby for $4.

Our dresser/changing area. That's a little lantern that we hope to use as the 'dim light' when doing late night feedings and changings. I hope to get a little something else to put here to prop up the lantern, or somehow  add a little more pizzazz to the area. Of course, I'm sure it'd be better to leave it clear for the wipes dispenser, diaper cream and other random baby things.

I really love the map of the United States that we bought (from here) and have hanging above the changing pad. If this baby doesn't know the capitols by the time he's 6 months, I will consider myself a failure.

I have to say that the fish rug might be my favorite part, though.

Back when we first knew we were moving in this house, I started looking for rugs to cover the floors in some of the rooms. Knowing that we were going for the outdoorsy theme in the nursery, I instantly came across this fisherman rug on Craigslist and was IN. LOVE. I drove 40 minutes away (with June in the back seat) to fetch it. Now June calls it the "Fish Rug" and I love it. 

About his bedding...

As the room came together, I decided we really needed some bold green here. The room was feeling very brown and this was the place to bring color in. I searched and searched and searched for a crib sheet and crib skirt that was what I was envisioning and had zero luck. I must have looked at hundreds of options on Amazon, Google and Etsy. Everything was either pastel green, ridiculously expensive ($69 for a crib sheet?!) or just not right.

So I didn't make the crib skirt out of ambition or because I'm a great crafter (I'm actually a pretty lazy seamstress), I made it because it was the only way to get what I wanted. I used a tutorial online like this one for the crib sheet and this one for the skirt.

The skirt isn't really a full skirt, with one large piece of fabric that lays over the crib springs. It's three panels that hang along each side of the crib. I went this route not only because it seemed endlessly easier, but because of the function. Since each panel just ties onto the springs under the mattress, when you lower the crib setting to accomodate your older, climbing child, you can just move your panels up. They won't bunch and drag on the floor!

The ties I sewed into the panels:

So there you have it - our nursery about as done as it's going to get before our little boy joins us! Now I just need my little boy who I can rock and cuddle in that glider in the wee hours of the night!

37 Weeks Along

There I was, coasting along through middle pregnancy, then I blinked and now I'm 37 weeks along.

I'm feeling pretty good altogether, I'm just coming up on the stage of pregnancy where everything just feels a little "Ugh."

Sleeping comfortably at night, sitting comfortably at my desk all day...those aren't happening anymore. It's tough to bend over, like when I'm drying myself off after a shower, and I tend to make little noises when this happens, which causes Michael to ask if I'm okay about 47 times a day.

Nausea and sensitivity to smell are back. Michael started putting on his cologne outside in the mornings, which was very nice. This morning, though, it was raining so he didn't. "And you couldn't have put it on while in your car?" was apparently not the right thing to say. To be fair, I wasn't thinking clearly through the sensation of the burning membranes in my nose.

I feel like I'm being a sub-par parent to June. I don't have the energy I used to have...I'm just tired, you know? Thank goodness she has Michael, who will pretend to be her horse and will wrestle with her and swing her around in the air while they dance. Whereas my dance moves more and more resemble those of Tracy Morgan during those SNL Christmas Specials. Even when she does still climb on or around me, I have to caution her saying, "Be careful! Don't jump on my belly!" She must think I'm the most boring parent ever. Makes me sad.

Michael and I took a tour of our hospital the other day. It went great and reminded me a lot of the birthing center/hospital we used in Phoenix. I am still planning on going completely unmedicated if possible, and the medical practitioners seem supportive of that. It's just such a different setup than my last birth, though. Last time, I knew our midwife Lylaine throughout the whole process and I trusted her completely. This time, with this huge medical practice, you labor and deliver with whoever is there at the time. (There are always both midwives and OB/GYNs.) So I hope the midwife I end up with is as supportive as all of the other ones I've met with. And I hope that they can trust me when I say I don't want interventions, and that I can trust them if they ever say that I really need one.

My mom is coming out to be a life saver/support system/June supervisor in a couple of weeks. We'll be so lucky to have her. We have a friend or two we could call on to take June if the baby comes before that. I'm trying not to worry too much about the baby coming early. I know that at this point in pregnancy everyone starts feeling eager for it to be over, become convinced the baby will arrive early. Trying to take it one day at a time and be grateful for these last few weeks where June will have our undivided attention.

Nursery Beginnings

Even though we've technically been in this house since Thanksgiving, so much of that time has been holidays and the go-go-go of the season. (Hell - I was out of town for three weeks straight.) And now that I'm back for good, I started getting the shakes whenever I looked into the nursery and saw this:

Yeah... not exactly baby-ready. Not  exactly good for the nesting instincts.

So this weekend we kicked the nursery prep to the top of the To Do List and made some progress.

For Baby Boy's nursery, I did some thinking and looking (and Pinteresting) to shop for ideas. I knew that we wouldn't be able to paint the nursery (we're renting the house) and we couldn't hang tons of stuff on the walls (they're plaster and we've been asked not to punch a lot of holes), so that caused some limitations.

When I saw this mood board for a log cabin/outdoorsy/mountaineer nursery, I felt like it was the one. I showed it to Michael and he gave me the go-ahead.

This weekend Michael cleaned out the miscellaneous toys and other stuff that has accumulated in the baby's room. I used June's nap times to work on two little projects that I've had my eye on.

First, I saw this little print for sale from this Etsy site during my search. 

I thought it was adorable, but I felt a little weird about paying $21 plush shipping and handling for a piece of paper...one which I'd still need to get a frame for. So after realizing I already had black and yellow paint and some small paint brushes, I bought an 8x10 canvas at Hobby Lobby for $8.

I free-handed the bear outline and then filled 'er in.

And the finished product!

It's definitely not perfect, but it's the little imperfections that  show that it's homemade with love, right?

That night I measured and cut out the fabric for a little pillow I wanted to make. In the mood board above, I loved the bear pillow and loved the idea of having something like it for our rocking chair. But the more I Google Image searched, the more I was inspired by all kinds of bear pillows. 

So I used a piece of June's coloring book paper and traced a bear off of the internet straight from the laptop screen. Then used that to trace out a brown fabric bear. The next day, I pulled out the sewing machine and got to work on this guy:

For the back, I used some flannel and worked in a hemmed slit so the pillow case can be washed.

So who cares if we don't have a crib sheet or changing pad cover?! We have a pillow and some small-scale art! ;) I think the baby'll love it no matter what.

Can't wait to see this room come together!

Pregnancy Updates

With all of the exciting and time-consuming things going on these days, I feel like my ever-growing belly gets less and less attention. It's definitely a stark contrast to when I was pregnant with June, when the growing baby was a central focus in my life.

Last time around, I took pictures every week or two to document how big my belly was getting. This time around, I think I have a total of 3 pictures of myself since I started really showing.

Last time around, I was able to nap and rest as much as I needed. I'd come home from work and nap on the couch until Michael came home, I'd sleep as late as I wanted on the weekends. This time around, I have a toddler to chase around after work, who gets up around 7 on the weekends. And that's aside from the huge to-do list I have for things that need to get done.

Last time around, I knew down to the day how far along I was. This time, if someone asks me how far long I am, I have to think hard about it and usually say, "Uh...around...29-ish weeks... I think?"

So here are some updates...

We have picked our medical provider here in Sacramento. We're with a huge medical group/insurance situation that has midwives as an option. I have opted to go with the midwives and will likely be delivering with one of them at a hospital that's about 15-20 minutes away. (There are OB-GYNs on call if needed.)

The plan is to go without pain medication again if everything works out as planned. I have my HypnoBabies CDs, but I've only gotten around to listening to the positive affirmations one while I'm in the car.

My due date has been officially moved to February 19, but I sometimes still say the 22nd out of habit. But since June came (what felt like) so late last time, my general feelings are, "Meh, the baby will be here when he gets here."

I'm 29 weeks along and everything is normal at this time. Appointments have been pretty uneventful apart from the confusion that comes along with transferring medical care halfway through a pregnancy (paperwork, etc.). I have gotten the approval to travel for the holidays!

My morning (all day) sickness stuck with me through until almost 5 months, just like last time. I do think that it was a little better this time that it was carrying June. I haven't had any cravings and I hope I actually get to experience some this time! For now, I'm in the phase of pregnancy that I really love. I've stopped feeling sick all day and can now brush my teeth without gagging, but I'm not so big as to be hugely uncomfortable yet.

I can't believe that the baby will be here in just a couple of months!

It's a Boy....Still!

Alternative titles for this post:

Once, Twice, Three Times Not a Lady, or
Third Time's a Penis, for sure this time

As I mentioned in this post, we scheduled a non-medical ultrasound at 20 weeks to find out the sex of our baby. The ultrasound technician gave us a very confident "Boy!" answer and we were so excited. We started picturing our lives, we went over boy names, we got June to come around to the idea of a little brother.

A week ago we had our first appointment with our healthcare provider in Sacramento. I asked to see a midwife (instead of an OBGYN) and we had a nice little appointment where Michael remembered more about my surgical history than I did (wisdom teeth) and I proceeded to overshare and start sweating.

They said that they normally do an ultrasound to confirm a pregnancy at the first appointment, but my case was a little unorthodox since I didn't need much confirmation. Nonetheless, when faced with the chance to see little BabyShock again, we said "Sure!" (PLUS, I sort of wanted confirmation that it was a boy because of my slight doubts about the first ultrasound.)

The brought out the machine, set it up and we waited. "Well, I'm not a trained technician," said the midwife, "but I'd say it's a girl!"

"Eerrrrrrrr" Michael and I said together. What the what? We looked a little longer and she stayed with her opinion that it was a girl.

Michael and I didn't really know what to think. Obviously we'd be thrilled either way, and the only thing that matters is that the baby is healthy, but we were definitely thrown. What would June think? Well now we can use all of June's hand-me-downs! No more khaki courderoy overalls? Can we get our money back on that other ultrasound?

The midwife said I had to get a medical ultrasound (where they take measurements, look at development of the heart, etc.) but scheduling would be tough since they were booked. The next day I got a call from the provider and they asked if I could come later that afternoon. So Michael and I headed off to yet ANOTHER ultrasound, what we thought of as the Tie Breaker Ultrasound. Whatever this technician said, that's what we were going to prepare for. We only wanted them to tell us if they could tell 100% what the baby was.

We waited and waited for our no-nonsense, highly experienced, professionally and medically trained ultrasound technician to tell us that - 100% sure - it was a boy! "See, there's his package," he said in his Armenian accent.

I tell you, our first pregnancy, we had exactly one ultrasound done - to find out June's gender. No stress, no funny business. For this pregnancy, we have had five ultrasounds so far and have had TWO misinterpretations. I adore me some midwives and love their style and approach to pregnancy and childbirth. But I've learned that maybe we should leave the ultrasounding to the technicians and don't let the midwives operate roll-y cart ultrasounds and tell people that there is no baby when there is or that their boy is a girl.

So! It's a boy...again!

The results are in, and...

It's a BOY!!!

That is, if you trust ultrasound technicians and their "professional experience." (She mentioned that the umbilical cord was also going down between his legs, so I was like, "How can you be sure you're not mistaking the cord for the penis?" But Michael insists that since this is technically "what she does for a living" and since she does this "day in and day out" that we can probably rely on her report.)

Already showing off his biceps:

Michael and I  are SO excited, you can imagine. I couldn't believe it at first, so we just stared and smiled and wondered. I kept searching the screen, trying to see a clear image with my own eyes. "Michael, can you believe it?" I said, then realized he was trying to block June from weaving her body into the cord of the blinds.

We brought June with us. We thought it'd be a great thing to do as a family, and I'm sure it would have been if June hadn't been at energy level 1000 with an Ornery Powerboost. She was all over the place, including climbing under the table my ultrasound was taking place on. Overall, it was probably the perfect statement about experiencing pregnancy the second time around with a toddler.

A boy! I can't believe we're having a boy! I'm so excited and keep thinking of little boy things, like khaki corduroy overalls. (Do boys wear khaki corduroy overalls?) (See! This is exactly why I'm also nervous. If we were having a girl, I'd feel like we were getting into something we already knew, but with a boy there are tons of new things we'll experience. Like diaper changing accidents. And circumcision. And children who are not naturally cautious.)

We are SO thrilled! June is...a little less so. She had her heart set on having a sister. At first she just said "No," when we told her that it was a boy. Now we've made a little progress and instead she just says that maybe we can name the baby "sister." I'm sure we'll get her to come around.

Baby boy! We can't wait to meet you!

What Will It Be?!?

We're finding out the gender of the baby on Sunday!

Healthcare related back-pedalling...

It just so happened that I ended up relocating out to Sacramento with June (to join Michael) when I was about 17 weeks pregnant. The time that you normally schedule your "Gender Reveal" ultrasound is between 17 and 20 weeks. If I had been any further along, we might have just rushed the ultrasound and found out while we were still in Arizona.

But we didn't, which means that here I sit at almost 19 weeks, not knowing what gender of baby I'm singing to and it's KILLING ME. (The funny thing is that I don't think we knew with June until 20 weeks, so I'm not really sure what's different about this one. My first theory coming up in three, two one...)

I'm still covered by our Arizona insurance. I'm sure that I could hastily find a healthcare provider out here and schedule an appointment, during which I'd sit through a long "get to know you and your health history" talk and maybe schedule an ultrasound later. I imagine that this would tack on an additional 2-4 weeks of waiting time. Which I find to be...unacceptable.

Meanwhile, we're trying to decide if we want to switch to Michael's benefits packages because they are custom fit to California healthcare. So we've been researching in a backwards fashion. Instead of picking insurance and then picking an in-network provider, we're looking around at providers, picking which one feels right and going with that insurance plan. I've visited two hospitals/birthing centers so far.

Even if/when we get around to enrolling and scheduling, that's still some weeks away from finding out if BabyShock2 is a HE or a SHE.

Which is how I found myself Googling ultrasound services in our area. We're going to a free-standing clinic which is 100% non-medical and the whole purpose is just to have an ultrasound to see your baby.   Since it's a business (not a medically-oriented service), they are open on the weekends, so I scheduled for Sunday evening which means June will be in attendance!

I'm kind of embarrassed that I'm doing this. (?) Most of the reviews of the place come from women who are 15 or 16 weeks along and "just can't wait to find out the sex!!1!" There are lots of women who go in later in pregnancy to get the 3D (and 4D - what is a 4D ultrasound? Does it include sound? Smells? I'm confused.) ones where the babies look like they're made out of soft cheese. You know what I'm talking about.

I guess I'm no different than the women who go in at 15 weeks, we're both just impatient. The difference is that I'm going in because of healthcare reasons and they're going in because of SQUEEEE!

(Who am I kidding. I'm also going in because of SQUEEEE!)

So my first theory is that I'm dying to know the sex of the baby because if I didn't (before scheduling my appointment) know if/when I'd ever get to schedule an ultrasound. It could be months! The horror!

My second theory is that it will make this pregnancy seem more real to me. Unlike my first pregnancy, this one is filled with so many more distractions. Packing, selling the house, moving, A TODDLER, new state, job transitions, A TODDLER. I feel like BabyShock2 is my sort of constant buddy, but one that gets forgotten in these other huge events and daily trials. I'm hoping that finding out the gender will allow us to really visualize him/her, allow us to really start planning (names!) and maybe the sheer knowledge (and more frequent kicks) will be a better reminder of the little joy that's headed our way in February. 

So that's that! Now that you've read my diatribe about healthcare (God bless you, whoever you are), anyone want to put in a guess for what we're having? 

Two Weeks From Hell

*Originally Written on 8/7*

I knew that our first prenatal appointment was early...right at 8 weeks. I didn't care, since I just needed to get in to get a Zofran prescription. (The nausea...I had forgotten how terrible it is...)

But  since it was early, it was too early to hear the heartbeat, but the midwife offered to do an ultrasound on a little portable machine they had. Sure, we said! Might as well! I wanted Michael to have one reason for leaving work for the appointment other than to hear me recite my health history.

She had some trouble with the machine. Michael helped her turn it on. She moved the wand over my belly and looked. And looked. And zoomed in, and continued looking. Her demeanor, which had been lively and animated, was getting more and more somber. And my heart was sinking.

"How far along do you think you are?"
"Eight weeks."
"Your uterus is measuring at 5 weeks. Any chance you're five weeks?"
"No."

I knew that I wasn't five weeks, and I knew what that meant. If my uterus was a five-weeks size, it meant the baby stopped progressing at 5 weeks. The midwife reminded me that she was not a fully-trained ultrasound technician, and that we needed to come back in two weeks to have another ultrasound to confirm anything. I knew what that meant too.

Then she told me the things that could happen in the next few days. The cramping, the bleeding, that I should go to the emergency room if it happened. I waited until she'd left the room to start crying. Michael was a lot stronger than I was.

I can't begin to tell you what that two weeks was like.

It was hell, waiting for time to pass. Not knowing if I was pregnant or not, fearing every little twinge of sensation in my torso. Feeling in my soul that I was pregnant, but knowing that I was tricking myself, allowing my hopes to cloud reason. I still had all the lovely side effects of pregnancy, the nausea, the fatigue, other less appetizing ones. I imagined the future ultrasound over and over. Sometimes with a positive result, sometimes with a negative.

We looked on the internet. Michael read some bad stuff, and told me not to look. I did anyway. I found some more encouraging sites, including one titled "Early Ultrasounds: Don't Let Them Scare You!" I allowed it to get my hopes up, then later chastised myself for it. I would catch myself saying, "Hold on, hold on in there," to my baby, the baby that might not even be there.

We had the love and support of the families, who were endlessly reassuring and positive and steady, which was exactly what we needed.

On the day of the follow-up ultrasound, Michael and I waited in the waiting room like a pair of poor souls waiting for the executioner. When they called my name, my heart jumped into my throat. They were running behind and had me jump right up onto the table. I was in the big, fancy ultrasound room this time, and didn't want to waste time asking the tech if she knew the backstory.

She made Michael stay over on the chairs by the door because to stand near me was to have him over near her desk. Michael and I gave each other one last look while she put the warm gel on my belly and took out the wand.

Immediately we saw the dark sac, and in it a glowing white something. Michael and I looked at each other with wide, wild eyes.

"Well, it looks like your baby is on its side," Trish the Tech said.

And then the unabashed, uncontrollable sobbing happened.

"Oh my goodness!" Trish said. "Okay, okay, you can go over and stand by her! My goodness, I didn't realize you'd be so emotional!"

We just cried and cried.

"Well, I do like to see happy tears!" Trish said awkwardly while she handed out tissues.

I quickly apologized and told her what had happened, about our last ultrasound and the two weeks of hell since. She was pretty indignant on our behalf, and annoyed that the midwife hadn't immediately sent us over for a confirmation on the day that we'd been unable to find BabyShock in the first place.

But after that, we just looked and looked and looked at our little wiggler. The baby squirmed around like I do when I'm trying to get comfortable in bed. We could make out the little legs, the little arms. She measured my uterus and found I was a little over 11 weeks long.

I don't think I need to tell you the relief and joy and weightlessness we felt after seeing and hearing the news. So that was the happy close to a chapter of our pregnancy that could have ended much differently. Our baby! Our baby was okay, and healthy and wiggling!

The Woes of the First Trimester

We found out we were expecting again on Father's Day.

I got to buzz around those first two weeks with my little secret, thrilled and excited and loving every minute of it. I love being pregnant! I thought, I want 27 more children! This can't be my last pregnancy!

And then. And then the nausea descended. Like a thick puce-colored fog. 

It started around our 4th of July trip to San Diego, where I experienced my first public vom session at around midnight on the 4th in the hotel parking garage. (The cars drove by, thought I was a drunkard and my mood was not improved.)

Since then, it's been the usual. Nearly every morning while brushing my teeth I end up heaving into the sink. The only other public incident happened in a restaurant bathroom, during which I also got a bloody nose. As if that was what I needed at the moment. 

Needless to say, it was a very short amount of time before I was thinking, NEVER AGAIN. No more pregnancies for this one. Not ever.  

To be fair, I do think it was worse last time, it's just hard to remember exactly at this point. (It is not a coincidence that we forget the hardships of pregnancy and labor. Mother Nature gives us the pregnancy  mind fog to hoodwink us into doing it more than once.)

Another fun development about the second pregnancy...turns out that you show much earlier the second time around. I was only about 7 weeks before I had to start reverting to the old tricks (the rubber band through the button hole, the Bella Band) to make my clothes more comfortable. (The nausea - and resulting inability to tolerate pressure on my middle - didn't help.)

I had a few weeks of weird feelings about my body but was reassured by friends and the All-Knowing Internet that it's totally normal to show early the second time. The best analogy I came across was that your ab/stomach muscles are like a balloon. The first time you blow up a balloon, it's difficult because the elastic is so tight. After that, it's easier to blow up because the elastic has been stretched out. 

Even with the reassurance that it's the norm, I'm still very much looking forward to the moment when I look pregnant and not just bloated.

I'm officially out of the first trimester now, so let's hope that that glorious second trimester kicks in soon, with less nausea and more baby bump and baby kicks galore! 

The News Times Two

This blog post has taken me forever to write. Not entirely sure why, except that I hardly know where to begin. We've had some big things in the works and we didn't want to go public with it until a certain point, and then it just felt like I had so much to say about each one that I didn't know where to begin.

So I guess I'll begin by just announcing the news!

1. I'm pregnant!

2. We're moving to Sacramento

3. We've decided to go an entire year speaking with an Italian accent**

**One of these items is factually inaccruate. Three just felt like a nice round number.

So, yes! Cat's out of the bag, etc. etc!

We found out I was pregnant first, and were thrilled and couldn't wait to tell the world. We thought we wouldn't wait as long as we did last time, and did tell our families, but then the Michael's work situation came up and we decided to postpone the baby announcement too. I'm 14 weeks along now, BabyShock is about the size of a lemon and I'm due on February 22! And will be having a Sacramento baby!

June knows about BabyShock and is very excited and VERY determined that it's a girl. So...?

Michael was contacted about a job in his industry in Sacramento a couple months ago, and that began the long process of correspondence and a trip out for an interview. Having never been to Sacramento myself, I asked him to just make a panoramic photo of his entire visit there so I could get a feel for the city. He didn't oblige me, but did set up a photo stream, which was almost as good.

The crazy thing is that Michael is moving to Sacto on Sunday and starting at his new job on Monday. June and I will hold down the fort out here while he finds a temporary housing situation and daycare and while I get the house ready to put on the market.

SO! It feels good to have that all out there! Now I can start posting all the drafts I've started and haven't been able to publish!