The Growing Bump

I made a montage of my growing baby bump...if you'd like to see it, click below!

Julie's Pregnancy Progression

p.s. SO WEIRD to see my old belly and now have June as an "outside baby"!

Introducing June

Hello, blogosphere. My name is June.

Picture courtesy of Mommy's camera phone.

This is when my parents first saw me:

One of these days I'll get the chance to sit down and write out our birth story. For now, let me give you the highlights. My water broke at 6:30 am on Monday when I was getting ready for work in the morning. June came into this world with deliberation and patience... she wasn't born until 4:27pm the following day.

A beautiful, perfect, healthy baby girl. Born on April 5th weighing in at 8lbs, 9 oz!

It was monumentous. It was beautiful. It was exhausting. It was exhilarating. It was a lot more, but I can't sit down and write it all out just yet. Though I can see no better way to spend a few minutes at 3:03 am than with a baby asleep on my chest and my laptop open on my lap, it's time for a feeding.

One Week Overdue

And no baby. Our June seems content where she is.

Must be patient.

Must be positive.

Must not get down.

Must repeat Hypnobabies affirmations to myself. "My baby knows how and when to be born." "Babies come on their birthdays, not when doctors decide."

Must not think about the end of this upcoming week like a hammer waiting to fall, when even my crunchy, granola, wonderful midwife says we should look to non-chemical methods of induction.

My boobs feel weird. Like they know there was supposed to be a little milky baby latching on to them by now.

Can't wait to hear what everyone says at work when I walk in tomorrow.

Must stop crying inconsolably at country music lyrics.

Some Questions Answered

“Still working?”

I’m trying. I’ve gone into work every day this week. I left an hour early on Monday and Tuesday so I could go home and get a little extra rest. I took a half day today because I had a rough night last night (thought I could be in labor, got all excited, couldn’t sleep, turned out I wasn’t in labor). And I was hoping to meet my in-laws for lunch anyway since they’re all now in town.

“So (when) are you going to schedule an induction?” or “What does your doctor have to say about this?”

My care providers tell me that it’s completely normal to go past your due date. Yes, 40 weeks is the due date given to women, but that’s an average…meaning that half the people birth before their due dates and still half the people deliver after. And first-time moms have an average closer to 41 weeks than 40. Did I still need Michael to hold me while I cried on the bed last night because I feel like my body’s doing something wrong, and because I'm just so eager to finally have her? Yes. But I’m not scheduling an induction unless there is a medical reason that the baby and/or I need one.

Still, here’s the plan: I have my 41 week appointment on Friday. They will do a non-stress test which monitors fetal heart rate and contractions to see what all is going on in there. It’s a way of detecting if the baby is stressed out or if she’s just hanging back and chillin’ because I’ve created such a rad environment. It’s totally non-invasive, and involves two little monitors placed on my belly. This is actually the same thing that was done when I went to the hospital for my kidney infection. If everything comes up peachy, we wait another week. It’s in the 42nd week that we’ll look into another NST and possible induction using non-chemical methods.

“How dilated are you?”

I don’t know, my care provider hasn’t done any internal exams. I’ve only had one internal exam during this pregnancy and that was my first appointment with an OB (who I ended up leaving) to confirm my pregnancy. My midwife hasn’t brought the topic up and I haven’t asked. The one thing internal exams do is tell you how effaced and dilated you are. The problem with this is that it doesn’t mean much of anything. A lot of women get told at 35 weeks that they are 3 cm dilated and 50% effaced and they stress out thinking, “the baby is coming soon because look how far along I am!!” But then they end up walking around for another 6 weeks. Plenty of other women are at 40 weeks pregnant and get told that they are 0 cm dilated and they get stressed and discouraged at their lack of progress, but labor comes on that night and they progress to 10 cm in 12 hours or less.

Your amount of dilation and effacement fluctuate and therefore don’t mean much in telling you how close you are to your due date. This is one reason why I haven’t really inquired about them. I know that I’m the type of person that would subconsciously read too much into my “scores” and stress over them.

“Have you had any signs of labor?”

I don’t know. I haven’t lost my MP (using abbreviations in the hope that people who want to know what this is will and the people that don’t will be spared), my water hasn’t broken. I don’t have any unusual back pain. I have had a ton of what I think of as Braxton Hicks contractions, sometimes they feel almost constant – every 10 minutes or so. They often don’t feel like much of anything. Other times I feel them along with a breathless feeling and a crampy sensation and I get really warm. And yet other times I have crampy feelings, uterine downward pressure, little twinges of discomfort, etc. that don’t occur at the same time as the BH.

So... I don’t know if any of these are signs that my birthing time could be close. My guess is, “Sure, maybe,” but none of that means anything until it’s really go time. I just hope I’ll know it when I feel it.

I leave this post with the following picture.

Because, if I know anything about the laws of nature, it is this: simply by posting this picture (from my wedding day, by the way), I will go into labor soon. Because there is a hideous picture of me up on my first page of the blog, my birthing time will start soon so as to leave me with this post up until I'm able to come on and post baby pictures. This post will represent me for however much time passes between now and June O'Clock. And the cosmos will want this up for awhile.

It's science.

Due Date Dilemma - To Willfully Withstand Working?

My plan has always been to work up until the day I deliver. This mostly stems from the fact that I only get 12 weeks off before returning to work and I want to spend every precious moment of those three months with June. Taking off a week early would just be week less of time I get after she arrives.

So with my due date fast approaching (Sunday), should I try to come back to work on Monday? My boss has already said I don't have to and most people seem pretty surprised that I’m working still. My main reason for wanting to stop working now is because of how it feels. I don’t feel like I’m getting ready to birth when I’m at work all day. My day starts at 6am and I don’t get home until 5:30. What if my birthing time starts then, just in time for me not to get any sleep and I will be starting my marathon on an empty tank.

Are you supposed to have any idea when labor might start? Do you wake up in the morning thinking, “This will be the day!” Because today never feels like the day when I’m sitting at my desk all day, looking at a computer, shifting positions to stay comfortable, taking walking breaks to the bathroom. I have this weird thought in the back of my mind that even though it technically could come at any moment, it feels so very far off because today was just like every other day I’ve lived for the past 10 months. Nothing special. I can’t picture this boring day ending with excitement at the birthing center.

Work’s fine, really. I’m not on my feet all day. It’s stress-free and calm. It's distracting, which is actually nice. There are only two main problems. The first I describe above. Would being at home relaxing allow me to feel more prepared and rested?

The second problem is that I just don’t like being around people anymore. I hold my breath on the way to the bathroom hoping not to run into anyone. I dread my lunch break and have considered just eating at my desk instead of in the break room (but Millionaire is on!). The following is a small sampling of what I hear from coworkers and what I’d like to respond with.

“You’re still here, huh?” No. You’re speaking to a hologram version of me that we concocted over in Tech. Beepbeepbeep! Low power!
“Baby’s not here yet?” Oh no, she’s here. My belly just didn’t go down at all after the birth. Bummer! She’s out in the car. Don’t worry, I cracked a window.
“You know, X Coworker had her baby. Why haven’t you had yours yet?” Oh, that’s how birth works?! One person birthing means all others in her acquaintance birth at the same time. Simul-birth, it’s called.
“You should hold out ‘til April 8. That’s my birthday.” I’ll see what I can do.
“You’re not even close! You haven’t even dropped yet!” Thanks for the encouragement.
“Have you scheduled your induction yet?” *Throatpunch*
“You’ve got a ways to go still. You’ll get a lot bigger than that before you give birth.” *Chokeslam*
“You don't look so good…you’re starting to walk like a pregnant lady now.” *Back-handed slap*

Which do you think is more disrespectful – a back-handed slap or a straight palm-to-face slap? Just wondering.

Not that I don’t LOVE being reminded that the baby’s not here yet every time I see you in the hallway. (And by “every time” I mean multiple times in one day. Are you really this surprised to see me at 2:00 when you saw me at 11:00? “You’re still here!”) I'm not even overdue yet!

I love it when I know that I come across as very likable on my own blog. You don't have to like me right now!

Anyway, what do I do? Do I suck it up and come to work on Monday, and just cope with the fact that I might start my birthing time when I’ll already be exhausted? Do I stop working and just hope June comes soon so I won’t be wasting all my time off sitting around and twiddling my thumbs? Do I have a marathon of naturally-inducing techniques this weekend – belly dancing/walking/ankle rubs/castor oil/spicy food/sex/bumpy car rides/evening primrose oil/listening to birth hypno tracks/red raspberry leaf tea/visualization/jumping jacks?

The truth is that none of these work unless your baby’s ready to come out anyway.

The Nursery!

It's finally time to put up some pictures of our baby girl's room. It's still not totally finished. I'm hoping to ask my mom to do a painting for us for the room and there are a few other little decor ideas I have, but this is probably the best time to put the pictures up. It's mostly done, fairly clean and waiting patiently for June to arrive.

I get such feelings of whimsy when I step in here.

So here is our nursery tour. I hope you enjoy!

This is half of the closet (the other half is empty except for our baby bath tub). We wanted some more shelf space so we bought a closet organizer system. We got this Martha Stewart cubby version from Home Depot and Michael assembled it really quickly and easily.Our dresser and changing table. I don't know if that basket and Bartholomew Bear will have permanent residence on the shelf, but they're taking up space until I can get some great picture frames and maybe some interpretation of spelling June's name out.I really do adore that dark espresso wood furniture.

The crib! The main attraction! Plus the bedding! There is A.LOT. of controversy out there about cribs and bedding and bumpers and mobiles. I can't keep up with it all.

And now the progression of my cherry blossom tree 3-D wall mural!

First, Michael painted the room. The color looks so different in different lights (natural, artificial, the flash of the camera). It's light brown, but I don't think it's quite as yellow as it appears below.

Then I put up a branch decal I found online. (Google is my BFF, but I had to look through so many combinations for the words "Cherry Blossom Branch wall decal vinyl" to get here.)

Then I hand-made little paper flowers and attached them to the wall.
You also get a little glimpse of the seat and swing a coworker gave us that her daughter no longer uses. I doubt this is their permanent location but we'll see. I'd love to get some kind of rocker for the room for those late-night feedings (after she moves out of our room, that is).
I curled up their edges to give it some dimension.
I hope she likes it!

Mystery Marathon

I'm 6 days away from our due date. Less than one week! And do you know what being this close to my due date feels like?

It feels like I’ve signed up to run a marathon but I haven’t been told when it’s going to begin. That on any given day, at any given time, someone’s going to run up and shout, “Clock starts right NOW!” and the marathon will begin and I’ll start running. I don’t know where I’ll be when this happens. I don’t know what items I’ll have near me. I don’t know what shoes I’ll be wearing.

But I did know the marathon was coming – shoot, I signed up for it – so I’ve been getting ready. I’ve been training, I’m in shape, I’m physically capable of doing the run. I’m not afraid of it and I know I can finish. But it still just kind of looms ahead because the start gun could go off at any minute.

There are moments when you think, “I wish the marathon would start already!” or “Now would be a great time to start. I’m ready. I’m comfortable. I have my shoes tied on tight.” Then there are also times that you pray you’ve got more time and you eye every passerby with trepidation in case they make a move to blow the start whistle. Like when you’re in a big meeting. Or when you’re walking around the Renaissance Festival. Or when you're already exhausted and you don't think you'd have enough energy to only be starting your marathon right then.

And you look forward to it, truly you do. You can’t wait for the challenge, this race you’ve been training almost 10 months for! You’re ready to test your strength and set a PR and get that rush. And you picture the moments of triumph. Sometimes your legs twitch in anticipation because you just want to run. And you can’t wait until it’s over, because everyone promised you that right after the race you get a big old BBQ dinner.

Except in this case the role of BBQ Dinner will be played by my first born child, June. Who is, you know, slightly more important and satisfying.

Group B Strep: A Disappointment Story

I’d like to tell you about a small disappointment. I’m currently postivie for Group B Strep.

I don’t really want to go into what Group B Strep is in detail because of all the men that read this blog. Oh wait, there are only two of you. One who is responsible for giving me half of my genes and the other is responsible for giving me half of the genes of this baby inside me. Fine, I’ll go into GBS a little.

It’s a naturally-forming bacteria that is present in about 20-30% of all healthy, normal women out there. It comes and goes, meaning that you might have it at one point in your life (or in your pregnancy, even) and not have it at another point. It can be found in your area, if you catch my drift. And it poses a threat to babies born vaginally if the mother is positive with it at the time of birth. These days every pregnant woman gets tested for it around 37 weeks.

So I don’t want to get into the deets, but you have two options during your birthing time. You can just have the baby and take a 1 in 200 risk that your kid will end up seriously ill, or you can take some antibiotics during labor and reduce the risk to something like 1 in 4000. If you don’t take the antibiotics, the birthing center requires you to stay for 48 hours after birth so your baby can be observed to make sure she’s not exhibiting signs of the GBS disease. If you take the meds, you can go home whenever you want.

To me it’s a no-brainer. I’ll take the meds. Even my very naturalistic, homeopathic, granola midwife said we should take the meds.

Here’s where my disappointment kicks in: you have to take the meds by IV. Well, you only need it once every 4 hours, so you get a hep-lock which is basically just an IV connected to your body but only connected to meds for a certain amount of time. This means that I will be free to walk around, get in the tub, take a shower, sit on the birthing ball…whatever. And then for 20 minutes every 4 hours I’ll get a little bag of antibiotics hooked into my hep-lock, then I’ll go back to doing my thing.
As much as I loved my Hypnobabies classes, there’s one thing that I didn’t like so much – how much distrust they have in the whole medical community. For being about such wonderful positivity, they also plant in your head that you have to be strong, assertive, informed, confident, and like armed in order to fight off the advances of medical personnel who are really just out to get you in and out of the hospital as fast as possible. This may be very true for some places, and I’ve heard too many stories not to know that some hospital staff are not concerned with the mom’s best interests. But I also feel that it might be different at this birthing center. My Hypnobabies instructor actually told me about one mom who was given Pitocin after birth to help the uterus contract when she’d never given permission for it. The nurse just stuck her with a needle and gave it to her. This has me worried that someone’s going to try to sneak something into my hep-lock without me knowing about it, and it’ll be easier because I’ll already be set up to go, hep-lock exposed and vulnerable. I had a vision of me in my state of hypnosis and a nurse slipping something onto my hep-lock while my eyes were closed. Creeps me out.

Plus there’s the whole concept of cascading interventions. Giving in to one thing makes it that much easier to give into another. Will simply allowing them to put a needle in my arm make me more likely to give into something else? “Honey, it’ll be so easy to give you X medication…just to take the edge off. Your hep-lock’s already in, we don’t need to do anything except connect it to this pretty bag of liquid.”

Michael’s sweet. First he got mad that I had even considered that he would let someone give me something without my/his approval. He said he’d watch over my hep-lock like a hawk while I'm in my hypno zone. We can confirm with the nurses every 4 hours that, yes, it’s only the antibiotics you’re putting in. He’s also going to help regulate what people suggest to me. When you’re in hypnosis you can be very suggestible, and even though I think I’d be more angry and irritated with suggestions at that point, who knows what it’ll really be like during my birthing time? So if nurses try to suggest pain relief to me, Michael will pull them into the hall to have a chat (a la the two adorable scenes in Knocked Up).

So…that’s what’s up.

I wanted to write this blog for two reasons. One is that I’m trying to cope with my own feelings of shame of being GBS+. Even typing that out I feel like I’m admitting to a sexually transmitted disease or something (IT’S NOT). I know from my research that literally millions of normal and healthy women have it at this given moment, but I still feel weird about it. Also, because now I will have a little hep-lock in my arm during my birthing time and it’ll show up in all the pictures. Don’t want everyone accusing me of lying about having a natural birth when I obviously had some intervention.

A Tech Baby Shower

Last week I had my work baby shower. It was wonderful and I was really overwhelmed with the turnout, not just from my department but from others as well.

Here's the thing about where I work: I'm in tech. My department is made up mostly of men in general and men that like talking about zombies in particular. My direct boss, however, is a woman. Don't let this fool you into thinking that she'd love frills and bows and pink for a shower. She admittedly told me that she doesn't "do" baby showers and was looking for advice from me in what needed to be included.

I said I felt a little weird planning my own baby shower, but that I'd be fine if we did a little Anti-Shower. Like a shower Tech Style. We could even order a cake that said, "Bon Voyage, Roger!" and when people were confused we'd just shrug our shoulders and say, "What with cut backs and all, we had to order a cake that was never picked up because it was on sale."

My boss, without missing a beat, said, "Great. Random. Like, 'See you in Hell, Pumpkinface.' Got it." I thought this was hilarious, especially since she came up with it so quickly. One coworker, however, took this idea and ran with it - specifically, he ran home and asked his wife to get on it, STAT.

Which is how my baby shower ended up featuring this bad boy:

It was red velvet inside and delicious.

I guess the other departments had a couple moments of indignation on my behalf (bless!). One woman who I like a lot demanded, "What...who did this?" when she saw the cake. I guess they all felt bad for me and one woman said she would have cried if her baby shower had said that. "It goes in the baby book!" they exclaimed. It was really cute. But I think my laughter at the sight of the orange thing kept them from reporting it to HR.

The thing is, I didn't mind. I had my gorgeous baby shower. I have pictures of beautiful cupcakes and pink decorations and I got to wear a dress. That's the shower that will go down in the baby book, you know? I don't mind that this is Tech's take on a baby shower (there were no decorations to speak of) and it turned out a little wonky. 'Cause anyone that has a tech department knows that tech is a little wonky. And I'm a little wonky. So it works out.

And besides, I think the baby book would be just fine with the picture of Pumpkinface above.

Belly Pictures: Then and Now

When did I get so round?

Like my Jimi Hendrix t-shirt? I bought it for Michael early in our relationship (I have no idea why...he's not a big fan or anything) and Michael proceeded to wear it exactly zero times. But it is just so soft that I stole it and it has become my favorite.

Here I am at full term! 38 weeks behind me! A possible 2 weeks to go!

Now I know that I very well might make it to the full 40 weeks (shoot, maybe I'll be your average first-time-mama and go 41 weeks!) but I wanted to publish this post before my birthing time begins.

So here it is...me near the beginning and me near the end. 4 weeks versus 38.

Judge Julie

How beautiful the world of parenting is! Isn’t it? How interesting and strange! Everyone has their own opinions on how things should be done! And you don’t have to get a permit to have children! I do sometimes think it’s weird that you have to get a permit or license or registration to be able to drive, own a gun, vote, buy things on credit…but you need absolutely no credentials or training or qualifications to create and raise a human life.

I have a coworker who expressed to me some feelings yesterday about the public school education system that was SO INTERESTING to me because his feelings differ so much from my own.

He had watched a debate on TV about Arizona’s educational system and one woman had particularly vexed him (stinkin’ Democrats!). She was a teacher at a private school and was saying that she needed more support – from administrators and particularly from parents. She said that when kids arrive at school, some show up with all kinds of traits that make them pre-disposed to learn better or do better in school. Things like upbringing, socio-economic status, etc. She thinks that parents should work with their kids to learn some things before they even show up to their first day of kindergarten.

“Did you know,” said my coworker, “that some people think you should teach your kid the ABCs and how to write their name before they even show up to school?” As my coworker went on to explain, it is a teacher’s job to teach. That is not the parent’s job. What are we paying them for if we are expected to do their work for them? Sure, parents can help with homework after the teacher has walked the parent through how to help with homework. It’d be like a doctor telling parents to diagnose their own kids before bringing them in to the doctor’s office.

This crazy world full of different people with different opinions!

I told my coworker that – to me – it was more like a doctor asking parents to make sure their kids ate a healthy diet and got some exercise… you know, like preventative care?

Of course, what do I know? I – who is short-lived-ly childless, who can cast judgment and spout beliefs and condemn others without any repercussions because I have no children of my own! I – who doesn’t know what it’s like to actually raise a kid, who only knows what I imagine raising kids to be like. It’s easy for me to say, “Yes! I will teach my kid how to read and write and ‘rithmatic her way to an 8^th grade level by the time she’s 18 months old! I know I will! I will be patient and kind (this is starting to sound 1^st Corinthiansy) and my child will be perfectly behaved and never throw a tantrum. Not once! And she’ll sleep through the night at 3 hours old! Tra-la!” So maybe my coworker –who has two children – has a better idea of what is reasonable to ask a parent to teach a child by age 5. I still committed the appalling social faux pas by saying that maybe teachers are just asking parents not to plop their kids down in front of cartoons for the first 5 years of life.

You guys! I’m so judgmental! Please still read my blog anyway. (He looked at my first like I was insane, then with a pitying condescension of knowing that I would soon find out what it’s really like to have a kid. ‘You’ll see.’)

I will. I will soon see. I will soon find out that it’s not only those moments I look forward to with a burning happiness. It’s not all looking into a big old pair of baby eyes while breastfeeding. It’s not all family snugglesdays on Sundays. It’s not all heart bursting with pride when she puts the square peg in the square hole for the first time. (I had lunch with a coworker today and the pride she showed at watching her daughter use a spoon was so adorable.) It’ll be frustration and fatigue and little failures. It’ll be teething and wetting the bed and reverse cycling. It’ll be questions I don’t have answers to, crying I can’t stop (the baby’s and mine), injuries that a kiss can’t fix. It'll be exhaustion and fed-up-edness and "here, if The Wiggles will keep her quiet for a half an hour..."

But now – when I still have a potential two weeks left of awful, condemnatory, naïve, wonderful judgment without the actual responsibility and knowledge of parenthood – now I’d like to make one tiny statement.

I think teachers deserve the support of parents.

And I hope I have the ability, time and patience to sit down and go over the ABCs and writing out J-U-N-E with my baby girl before she turns five.

What I Miss

The pregnancy is still chugging along strong and - although I'm still mostly enjoying being with child - there are certainly some things I'm missing.

(Let me also note that I'm a sorta in-betweener when it comes to pregnancy caution, leaning on the conservative side. So within this post list, I'll create a sub-list of things other people avoid or do during pregnancy that I have not followed:

1. Abstain completely from deli meats. For the listeria purposes. I definitely cut back and chose something else if there was another option, but I haven't completely eliminated it. There was some prociutto on an asparagus sandwich at tea the other day. I had an awesome turkey cranberry sandwich at Sacks of Art Sandwichery. And I ate rather than starved at a work function when cheap little deli sandwiches were the only food option.

2. Avoid the microwave. I saw a post on a mommy forum saying, "If I have to use the microwave, I set it and then immediately run out of the room! Don't want baby getting nuked!" followed by more women congratulating her and saying how they don't use their microwave at all any more. Oh please. Now I'm not exactly rubbing my bare tummy up against the microwave door while it's running, but I have not altered my micro-use at all.

3. No preggies allowed at the haunted house. I went anyway.

4. I rode the big slide at the fair despite being unsure if this was recommended or not.

5. Ate sushi (that didn't have raw fish. The first OB I saw - for only one appointment - said not to eat sushi even if it was all cooked because the prep surfaces could have bacteria. I've eaten some delicious eel and shrimp rolls during my time and I and every pregnant woman in Japan seem to be doing just fine.)

6. I've tried to avoid but have come in contact with some: paint fumes, indirect bleach smells and second-hand smoke.

7. Caffeine. I was never a caffeine nut but I enjoyed myself an iced coffee here or a soda there. I did cut it out completely in the first trimester when it has the biggest potential for harm (some studies show increased risk of miscarriage). But nowadays I don't stop myself from two or three items with caffeine in them per week.

8. I've eaten steak that was cooked 'medium.' *Shrieks of horror*)

So after that list, I present to you:



Things I Miss/Look Forward to Enjoying Post-Pregnancy:

1. Sleeping on my stomach

2. Sleeping on my back for long periods of time

3. Raw sushi (I don't even like most sushi that features huge chunks of raw fish, I just wouldn't say no to a nice Philadephia roll or spicy tuna.)

4. A big runny egg. Sunny-Side-Up is calling my name.

5. Brownie batter, cake batter, raw cookie dough...I think you get the picture.

6. A cool glass of white wine (You thought this would be higher on the list, didn't you? Alkies!)

7. Not having to worry about caffeine intake.

8. My wardrobe. Not that I'm anything close to a fashionista, but I will enjoy being able to wear more than the 5 outfits that currently fit me.

Birthday Beginning

It was my birthday on Thursday!

Do you remember last year's birthday post? If not, please read it before getting to the bottom of this blog post.

Michael got me the biggest, prettiest bunch of roses a quarter-centurian could ask for.

We knew the true celebrating would come on the weekend, so I didn't mind running some errands on my birthday. First we interviewed a pediatrician and then we headed to Babies R Us to buy some of the bigger items still left on our registry!

Michael and I are definitely weekend celebrators. No matter what day of the week the actual holiday is on, we usually reserve true celebrating for the weekend so we can fully enjoy it. With that being said, I have to say that I really enjoyed getting this done. It might not sound like a thrilling birthday, but to finally have our baby mattress! Our bedding! Our pediatrician picked out!

I was pretty happy.

And, also:

He thinks he's so funny.

Lessons Learned

This baby's due this month, y'all! Whoa.

Do you think she'll have her dad's eyelashes? My ears? His skin tone? My preference for warm lunches? Will she fit into the outfit I have picked out for her to come home in? Will she cry a lot when she's first born, or will she quiet down and just be totally stunned by the sensory overload of the outside world? (Air! It's cold! Sounds that aren't muffled! Light! Smells! People touching bare skin for the first time!)

Will breastfeeding be as difficult as everyone makes it out to be? Will I cry when I see Michael cupping her little bottom as he holds her to his shoulder? When we hold her and talk to her will she somehow know that it's still us, we're the same people that have been giving her little rubs and singing songs this whole time?

My little hospital escapade taught me something: that this baby could come any minute. Yes, ideally she will incubate a little longer, but as of now if she comes, she comes! No one's going to stop her! And I've heard plenty of stories of babies that come early (and plenty about babies that come late, for that matter).

And if the baby came this instant, we'd be fine. We could do it. I could do it. But still, we have one month left, and I'm not ashamed to share with you all the things we have yet to finish.

1. Michael is finished painting the walls of the nursery but is still working on the baseboards.

2. I need to make and put up the wall art/decoration I have planned! Must remember to take before and after pics!

3. Need to assemble crib

4. Need to buy: crib mattress and bedding (really at this point all we need is a fitted sheet, so this isn't any big deal). I'd also like to get some kind of chair/rocker for the nursery

5. Finish packing the hospital bag

6. Get some kind of closet organizer system

7. We were hoping to get new closet doors and a new lighting fixture for her room

By the way - what is a working woman supposed to do about her hospital bag? Leave it in the car every day? Leave it at home? I always assumed that - even if pressure waves started while I was at work - I'd get home and labor there for a few hours before heading into the hospital. You know, take a hot shower. Make sweet treats for the L+D nurses. Have Michael feed me grapes...the ushe. (How does one spell the one syllable abbreviation for "usual." You know, 'the us', 'the use', 'the ushe'?) So I plan on always going home before going to the birth center, but what about emergency situations? Surely there aren't tons of working preggies out there with birthing balls rolling around in their back seats?

(Although - do you think this could somehow get me into the carpool lane? People might mistake it for a fellow passenger?!)

9 Months Along!

Today marks exactly one month until our due date!!

Whoa, guys. I can't believe how far along I am! I hope this month goes by quickly - I cannot wait to meet this little girl! But I also hope it goes by slowly - there is still a lot to do.

So here is my belly pic for the month!

If this baby doesn't come early, I'll plan on posting a comparison shot of me at 4 weeks vs. 38 weeks!

A Thursday Hospital Drama - not Grey's Anatomy

Want to Tarantino it? I'm going to show you a little image of the end of the story, then I'm going to take you back to the beginning. Ready for it?

Bam.

Okay, so around 2:30pm yesterday I noticed that the babe was moving around a TON. She once made such a big and thrashing movement of limbs (my hand happened to be on my belly at the moment) that I actually heard a thud coming from my belly. This is not relevant to the story. Sorry. I'll try to avoid tangents, but you have to understand how hard that is for me.

3:00 rolls around and I'm starting to feel uterine cramps - a lot like menstrual cramps. They don't go away and I feel several practice pressure waves. 3:30 brings with it a pretty bad back pain. Now, I'm no stranger to back achiness in pregnancy, but this was different. It was very specific in site - it was located halfway up my back on the left side. It felt like a Charlie Horse muscle cramp except it was in my ribcage area. Was the baby wedging her toes in between my ribs?? The worst part was that there was nothing I could do to stop it. I got up and walked around. I went to the bathroom. I stretched at my desk. (Luckily my cube neighbor leaves early, lest she would have gotten a great show of modified downward facing dog, forward bend and triangle pose. Some of the tech guys walking past got a nice little view, though, but they already think I'm odd so it's okay?) I went to the bathroom again. Repeated my stretches in the handicap stall. Nothing alleviated my discomfort.

I left work around 4 and went to my car. I laid the seat all the way back and started making phone calls. First to Michael, then to my healthcare place. I really just wanted to know where I should go. I didn't think it was my birthing time, so should I go home and lay down? (The idea of my 40 minute commute with that back pain was pretty horrible.) My body was telling me something was wrong, so should I go to the nearest hospital? (Which is not my birthing hospital.) If I was in labor, should I head to my birthing hospital? I read a book by Jenny McCarthy once where she mentioned her baby's kicks put her ribs out of their sockets three times...should I go to a chiropractor? (Oh dear Lord, am I taking pregnancy advice from the girl who co-hosted Singled Out?)

After calling Michael again, I started driving to his work. Then I pulled over because I thought I was going to puke. Michael called the office and started making threats if I didn't get some advice quick (omgilovehimsomuch). I got a call from a Nurse Practitioner that told me to go to my birthing hospital and get checked into labor and delivery. Michael reached a midwife at the same time who said the same thing.

Now, I'd like it mentioned that at this point I could have started FREAKING OUT. I really think it says something for the hypnobabies techniques that I was able to remain very calm this whole time. Sure, in my mind I was thinking about how this was NOT optimal (hello! Didn't even have my fuzzy socks! Can one even give birth without fuzzy socks?! I had frickin' ballet flats on!) but I didn't start crying, nor did I have a meltdown on the phone with Michael. I drove to the hospital.

Checked into L+D by myself, which sucked. People kept asking if I was in labor and I honestly told them I didn't know, that my midwife told me to come in because I was in pain. ("This must be your first baby," I heard a lot.) In my heart of hearts I knew it wasn't my birthing time. It didn't feel like it, it just didn't feel right. They took me up to triage pretty quickly, took a urine sample, had me get in a gown and then hooked me up to some monitors. That's when Michael arrived...calm, collected, handsome and missing a work happy hour to be there.

The results: great baby movement ("Baby's got the hiccups!" Michelle in triage announced, "She does?" I asked. I, apparently, know nothing about pregnancy sensations - I also missed Braxton Hicks - DO I SUCK AT BEING PREGNANT?), not many contractions, but something was up with my urine sample. I have a bladder infection that's made its way into my kidneys. Which explains the back pain (only on one side) and why I felt so much better after just being able to lay down in the triage room. Oh, and the constant peeing.

I felt pretty silly for all of this hullabaloo about a bladder/kidney infection, but the nurse assured me that she was glad I came in. If untreated they can turn into very serious bacterial infections and my back pain indicated that it had already gotten far enough. It would not have cleared up on its own.

Which is how I ended up taking the above photo. And maybe why I can't sleep and sit here typing this out at 3:42 am.

Want to hear the best part? Michael got a ticket on the way to the hospital. ISN'T THAT SO ROMANTIC? (and sad?) He made an illegal left-hand turn off a road that allows left-hand turns, but not during rush hour. Yes, he told the officer that his wife was in labor. No, the officer didn't have a heart. Maybe he can take my hospital paperwork to court to fight it?

Anyway, there's a lesson to be learned somewhere in this, but I don't care to investigate further at the moment. It's almost 4am, I have to go to work tomorrow and everything's fine. Everything's just fine.

Baby-Related Updates

I have graduated to weekly prenatal appointments. Wow! Once a week! That's a lot of blood pressure gauging and me shrugging and saying, "Still good." I remember when they first told me that we’d eventually get to that point (the final month of pregnancy) and feeling like it was so far away. I can’t believe I’m there. We’ve had a student midwife in on most of our recent appointments (in addition to the certified nurse midwife) and after talking about our birth plan she asked if she could be in the room during the birth. She also asked if we would be one of her parents she uses for her training. I guess she sees a lot of moms/couples, but she includes only 4 or 5 in her official reporting of treatment, observations, post-natal care, etc. I’m pretty flattered that she picked us, even if this is just part of her job.

I'm almost 36 weeks along, which (divide by four, carry the one, use fingers and toes) comes out to about 9 months pregnant! I'm starting to feel 9 months pregnant sometimes. In general I feel great, truly. I think maybe my body is trying to go easy on me to make up for those first 5 months of morning sickness? But sometimes I literally just went to the bathroom and feel like I have to go again. And bending over is just getting rude, since I have extra weight to lug around and I'm off balance and the belly gets in the way and I make unflattering noises when I try to stand back up.

Baby girl is active in there! Seems like her daily goal is to distract me as much as possible with kicks, squirms and somersaults. I know it's a good sign, so I try not to let my imagination conjure up images of the baby sending me Morse Code signals that she's in distress. I keep thinking someone's going to freak out in a meeting when they see my belly lurch, but so far no screaming has occurred.

Speaking of baby girl, I've had yet another person tell me that I'm carrying a boy. "Your belly is pointy. That's how a belly looks when there's a boy inside." My belly is pointy? Thank you? I don't give much credence to this old wives tale (wouldn't the shape of your belly depend on baby's position, maybe placenta position, amnio-fluid amounts maybe, your general fitness, etc?). I mean, I highly doubt that an additional 1" of reproductive organ would make my belly pointy. So I'm not very concerned that baby June is actually a Junior (buh-dum, ching!), but Michael and I did talk for a minute about reconsidering our whole Only-Get-One-Ultrasound plan.

My work seems to have made some adjustments in the bathroom safety-seat arena. Most notably, we have altered the brand of safety-seat we use. We have gone to a more flimsy and thin model. (Everyone knows what I mean when I say safety-seat, right? The little tissue liners you put on the toilet to avoid direct bum-to-toilet contact?) I feel that this is not the place to try to make cut backs and save money. And I realize that this isn't baby-related, but I feel strongly about this topic.

That is all for now.

Name that babe!

Sorry to be such a tease the other day. I posted a person's reaction to our baby name and didn't actually share the name!

Without further ado (and actually, I didn't mean for there to be any big ado), I present the name we've chosen:

June Elizabeth

We love both names, obviously. We didn't choose either for any one reason, but for several reasons each. I think I've said before that we tend to lean toward the classic/traditional names, which is why I was accused of choosing a "granny" name the other day. When I hear June I don't think of a granny. I think of a chubby baby, I think of a teenage girl, I think of a working woman - all of whom can be proud of their name.

I also think about calling her Juno and Junie (June E.) and Junebug, as Michael often addresses her in utero. Maybe I'll call her June Eliza when we're in character and feeling particularly dramatic.

(I hope I get a little girl who sometimes gets in character and feels particularly dramatic.)

My Baby Shower!

My baby shower was on Saturday! Hosted by the wonderful Jaye. She really went above and beyond with all of the wonderful decorations and food! Check out these beautiful and tasty cupcakes!

I can't believe I didn't get a picture of all the ladies in attendance! But here's one of Jaye, me and Lyndsey - all three preggies lined up in a row! Due in June, March and April! It'll be one crazy summer!We played some baby shower games, including the one I requested, the guess the belly game. This is where you cut a ribbon to how long/wide you think the mama's belly is. It's almost without exception that people guess WAY over (it's a tough game!). I think there were about 15 people there and only one guessed low. Here's Mom modeling her guess:

(Photo by Jaye)

Then we opened gifts! At first I modeled this baby bikini right side up until I was reminded that our baby girl is actually head down, so this would be a more accurate depiction:

(Photo by Jaye)

And check out this adorable tutu that Cindy MADE!

(Picture by Jaye)

The reason why I'm posting Jaye's pictures and not my own is because my own are pretty unflattering. Despite my resolution to stop making ridiculous faces, I did my Marlon Brando impersonation again. (Does anyone remember why this came up??) And once again, I thought it'd be funny, but it just left me with tons of pictures with me looking absolutely hideous. Like so: (Actually, this is Jaye's photo also.)

Godfather faces aside, it was such a wonderful time! Everything pink and pretty and baby-sized!

You (probably) won't regret watching this.

I would like to share something with you.

I would like to share something with you without giving any back story.

Let me just say that if you're interested in seeing more of this: Or at least why this is, please click here.

That is all.