About Austen

Because I just finished reading Emma, I’ve been thinking a lot about Jane Austen and her characters and writing style. I Google Image’d Mr. Knightley to see who has portrayed him in film over the years and came across a blog speculating about which was the greatest Austen leading man. As if Darcy could ever be supplanted! Hah!

I love Jane Austen. I love so much about the way she writes. She’s pretty well-known for writing some of the most obnoxious and deplorable characters, but I love that she does it patiently. She doesn’t just come out and say, “Mrs. Elton got on everyone’s nerves because of how highly she thought of herself.” She uses straight dialogue and lets you just find out yourself. I love that she rarely uses adverbs in dialogue, which I’ve recently found to be a pet peeve. In re-reading some of the stuff that I’ve written over the years, I’m so embarrassed that every line of dialogue reads ‘…she said dryly’ or ‘…he muttered sheepishly.’ Man. You don’t have to tell the reader how the person said it all the time. If you’re good enough, the reader will know the character well enough to intrinsically know how the character said/did/thought it. It’s on my list of things I’ll probably never find time for to go back through and remove all adverbs. Even ones like “intrinsically.”

Emma herself was such an interesting protagonist because I didn’t even like her most of the time. She was a little arrogant, presumptuous and judgmental. Her little scene on Box Hill was so awkward and uncomfortable that the writers of The Office would nod in approval.

One thing that I decidedly don’t like about Austen’s writing is how abruptly she ends her stories. The four (out of six) that I’ve read all end the same way. There’s a rather long build-up of conflict and interaction, things come to a head, then BAM everyone gets married the end. I just read a rather long novel with building emotional tension between two characters and you end the story with “and everyone was happy about their union”? I don’t even get a paragraph or two describing their first kiss or (gasp!) wedding night?

You know what it fits with? The fact that Austen was never married. I’m not saying that she never found out what actually happens between a husband and wife, I’m just saying she didn’t know enough to put it down in writing. Even some of the climactic moments are a bit short-changed. Example: Knightley professes his love for Emma and asks if she loves him in return. Austen then writes something to the effect of: “And what did Emma say in return? Everything that is proper to say, as a true lady always does.” COME ON, AUSTEN, I want deets! Jane Austen must have had enough knowledge of flirtation and courtship from experience, observation or imagination, so she wrote six novels about it. She didn’t have enough first-hand knowledge of marriage or any real physical expression of love (maybe even not verbal – poor Jane) that she didn’t feel comfortable writing about it. This makes me so sad for her. She, who wrote Darcy, could only ever imagine what it was like to actually be married to someone like him.

(Michael is very much a Darcy.)

On to Mansfield Park and Northanger Abbey!

With What the Road to Hell is Paved

I took June to the library last week so that she could be introduced to that musty, magical building full of adventures.

I read this blog that was titled "What Your Favorite Disney Movie Says about You." Though the whole thing is silly, I did like the description of Beauty and the Beast because of how true it is:

"Some people have porn, you have that scene where Beast reveals to Belle the library that he is now giving over to her, as he knows it’s what she would love more than anything in the world. No human being will ever romantically live up to you in your life now, as no one will be able to present you with an 8,000 square-foot Baroque library in the middle of a French castle to use at your discretion."

I remember seeing this meme one time of a picture of Belle with some kind of phrase over it about how "reading is hot" or something. DO NOT GOOGLE IMAGE "Belle reading is hot"... JUST DON'T DO IT. I have accidentally seen about 8 penises today, folks. But then searching for "Belle Bookworm" also came up with penises? So maybe we just don't search with Google that much anymore. (Penis count up to 15.)

I got a new book on tape at the library, Anna Karenina. I've never read any Tolstoy but I read the plot and headed to the checkout counter, also carrying a copy of Mommy Calls Me Monkeypants for the Junebug (it's a page turner!). It turns out that this isn't exactly a direct reading of Anna Karenina, it's more of a...I don't know, a theatrical portrayal of it? Kind of like you're listening to a recorded play. It's really weird because there are several times where you hear utensils against dishes and I can only guess that I'm supposed to assume they're at dinner? No one every said they were at a dinner, and the scenes just kind of start and stop without warning, fading away with sound bites (train whistles, crickets chirping) or classical music.

Anyway, June and I were in the car together on a half hour drive and I figured I could listen to my book on tape. What better time to expose one's child to the classics than the present?! Think of how her vocabulary will be affected! Maybe "acquiescence" or "heretofore" will be her first word!

But then the romance scene started. Maybe I would have felt differently if it had been an actual reading of the novel... "Vronsky kissed Anna passionately..." wouldn't be so bad to listen to with your 7 month old baby in the back seat. However, theatrical portrayal version of book on tape instead included sound effects. By that I mean slurping sounds, moans, sighs, gasps, shrieks and the like. A solid 15 seconds of sex noises with not a single word of narration (besides "Oh Anna!").

I had to turn it off. Prude as it may seem, I just couldn't listen to literary orgasms while my baby was babbling in the back seat. Guess she'll have to wait a few more years for the classics.

Reading Machine Losing Gasoline

I'm usually a pretty good reader.

English/Language Arts was always my favorite subject in school. Except for Ms. Gantert's class when I got in trouble for flirting with a boy and he didn't get in trouble for flirting back with me! The only thing I learned in that class was that some old ladies still favored sexism! (If I hear "boys will be boys" one more time...) Even when we were reading things I didn't particularly like (Their Eyes Were Watching God, anyone?), I still liked reading and could finish a story. In my life, I've hardly ever not been able to finish a book.

And in the last few months I've come across 6 books that I can't seem to get through.

1. East of Eden - recommended to me by my old boss (as in, he doesn't work there anymore. Not that he's particularly elderly) who I really liked, so I figured his suggestion was a good one. Not true. I mean, it's deep and all. It's just so. slow.

2. A Breath of Snow and Ashes - the sixth book in the Outlander series. This makes me particularly sad because I really enjoyed the first four books. Maybe it's because each book is about a thousand pages, but I'm just Outlandered Out.

3. Desperation - this cemented my feelings that I'm not a Stephen King fan unless he's writing under the pseudonym Richard Bachman. This was on audio book, so I did finish it. But it was painful.

4. The Warrior Heir - it should have been a tip-off that this audio book was found in the Young Adult section of the library. Are all modern authors just junk? Am I a cynic and a harsh judge because I want so desperately to be a writer and taken seriously myself? Where are the Jane Austens of our time?

5. The Mermaid Chair - also on audio book. This one was a #1 best seller, so I figured it had to be good, right? Never mind about the plight to find a current Jane Austen...this author tries so hard to be deep and poignant but ends up being obvious. I keep finding myself rolling my eyes in the car. I'm almost done with it, but keep deciding I'd rather listen to the sounds of traffic than listen to more of this book.

6. Stone of Tears - the second in the Sword of Truth series, recommended to me by Jaye. Loved the first one because of the romance. I've been told in advance that the second book has the two main characters separated the whole time. This is not providing much motivation to wade through nearly 1000 pages without any making out going on.

With the exception of the first Sword of Truth book, I haven't really found a book lately that I did like! What's happened to me?!?

Can anyone cure me of this literary apathy? Can anyone recommend a great read? There's not a lot I don't like, except for chairs of mermaids and Stephen King, apparently. It doesn't even have to be deep - I could really use some light cruise reading material!

Reader's Digress

Do you have a favorite genre of books? I used to think of a genre as broad things, like Romance, or Action, or Fantasy, or Historical Fiction. I’ve come to the realization that I’m a huge fan of a very specific genre of book: the near future dystopian society novel.

I just got finished reading The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. I really loved it. You can check out my full review by clicking on my Goodreads icon on the right-hand side of this page.

It takes place in the near future when, after a series of global and environmental disasters, North America is divided into 12 distinct and oppressed Districts. As a way for the Capitol to keep the Districts under control and submissive, a yearly “game” is held where one female and one male teenager must compete in the Hunger Games. The 24 “tributes” are placed in an arena to kill each other, because only the one surviving person can leave the arena.

I know this sounds macabre and disturbing, and it is. You’re reading about kids feeling and doing these awful things, but it’s not the gruesomeness that stays with me, it’s the portrait of human nature. The main character wrestles with her complicated feelings for a fellow contestant, needing him to survive but also knowing that they inevitably would need to face each other down.

Why do you read? Do you read non-fiction to learn about real things and people?

I read because I love feeling new sensations. I love a book that, after reading only a few sentences, you are there in the story. The Hunger Games was like that. I couldn't really read it before bed because I became so tense and anxious (just like the main character) and couldn't fall asleep. Are you ever so into a book that you start to imagine things that aren't even written out? Like you imagine the background noises, even though there's not a single word to suggest it? Or you're convinced a character spoke in a Cockney accent only to later find out that there was never an indication of this, and suddenly you feel just a tad insane? No, just me?

Don't you love the way that books can let you live through extraordinary experiences that you'll probably never actually face? I would never want to face the things in The Hunger Games, but it’s still interesting to see and feel them. Pride and Prejudice is my favorite literary work. (That and, obviously, the Harry Potter series. I'm sure both are considered on equal standing in the scholarly world. Did you ever see the Friends episode where the friends are playing a group trivia game? The guy's team is asked "What does Rachel claim her favorite movie is?" and they say "Dangerous Liasons!" "What is actually her favorite movie?" "Weekend at Bernie's!" That's what I feel like when I list my two favorite books.) Anyway, I love Pride and Prejudice. Obviously because of the epic love story, but I can't be too jealous of that. Anyone that heard Michael's vows at our wedding knows that I've got my own Mr. Darcy. (Do you think Michael would approve of Fitzwilliam as a first name for our future children? I think it works for both male and female.) I will probably never be able to wander the English countryside in long skirts and petticoats carrying a basket of newly picked wildflowers. I might never get the chance to utter such things as, "She is the handsomest woman in my aquaintance" in context without getting some strange looks. But I can live those things, do those things, say those things while I read Austen's work.

How wonderful the written word is.

What is your favorite book?