Back to Work

In short: it was fine.

In length:

Dropping June off at the daycare was the hardest part, of course. Michael and I both went and carpooled to work so I would be free to bawl my eyes out the whole way. (I didn't quite bawl, more stared out the window in silent misery.) The head teacher in the infant room is understanding and kept saying how June will be fine, I will be fine, we all will be fine. I handed June to Michael because I couldn't be the one to hand her off for good.

Returning to work was...nice, actually. It was fun. It was an ego-boost to hear peoples' delighted exclamations of "You're back!" It was fun to get caught up in all the news around the office and in the lives of my coworkers. They even made me a gigantic card, bought me balloons and a few welcome back treats.

Remember the pumpkin face cake? Well...

And it was kind of nice to just focus on me, you know? Like to turn off my Mommy mode and concentrate on adult issues. Does this make me a terrible mom? I hope not. If anything, this little break allowed me to fawn all over my baby when I got home.

But it was hard, too. Absolutely. I was okay doing my job...and then I'd think about June. I'd wonder if she was crying and no one could settle her because no one knows her little tricks like I do. I'd wonder if she was being smiley and cute and I was sad I was missing her smiles. I'd wonder if somewhere in her mind she was wondering where I was. These are the times it was tough.

As the afternoon passed, the minutes were only creeping by.

But my husband, wonderful man that he is, sent me some flowers to help me get by. Aren't daisies such a friendly flower? (Kathleen Kelly would agree.)

Since we carpooled, poor Michael had to put up with my "suggestions" as we drove home. ("Couldn't you maybe drive a little bit faster?") At least we got to drive in the HOV lane! After sprinting into the daycare, we were rewarded with smiles from our baby girl who was waiting for us. She'd done fine on her first day.