Happy Birthday, Mom!

The family got together for dinner Saturday night to celebrate my mom's birthday at El Chorro Lodge in Paradise Valley.

Seriously great time had by all!

I drink a lot of water and milk these days and have been trying to think of something fun and creative I can drink on special occasions. Maybe I should look up some mocktails online? Unprepared, I ordered a Shirley Temple to my embarrassment in front of the server. When I finished my first one, he came by and said, "Would you like another...kiddie cocktail?"

And Kai got to feel the baby kick!She has been so active these days! There are a ton of big and small kicks, but there are also just a lot of squirms going on. I'll press my hand against my belly and feel the different knobs and lumps of her body moving against it. One time I used my hand to sort of press (what felt like) a knee or elbow to the side. She immediately retracted the limb and started kicking repeatedly in response. That literally had me laughing out loud.

Pregnancy Paranoia

Michael had to work on Friday night. I was home alone.

I already had a lot of windows open because we were trying to air out one of the bathrooms we're having re-caulked. So when I started smelling this mechanical, oily burning scent, I didn't know if it was coming from inside or out.

I tried walking outside to see if I could smell it (I couldn't), I tried closing the windows to see if the smell got worse (it did), I tried laying down to see if I could just ignore it. When I started getting very sleepy and felt a little headache coming on, my fears that I was being air-poisoned were cemented. I was convinced that our house was slowly filling with carbon monoxide and that Michael would return home to find me dead.

That's how I found myself alone at an 8:40pm movie in my sweats, carrying a bath towel to give myself better lower back support. With no bra on.

I was so rocking the homeless-chic look.

I stopped and bought a carbon monoxide detector on my way home.
It didn't detect any carbon monoxide, if you're wondering.

Side note: I saw The Dilemma, which was "meh." It had a couple of funny moments but it was mostly just sad - it's about a man (Vince Vaughn) that finds out his best friend's wife is cheating on him, and doesn't know if he should tell him or not. Maybe my low opinion was influenced by how tired I was.

We also recently saw Black Swan and The King's Speech. I enjoyed both. Black Swan was quite a trip, having you never know what's real and what's not. The King's Speech was SO good, I'm really hoping it wins Best Picture!

It's Raining Babies!

Exactly two months until the due date, y’all! (Though my money’s on her being a little late.)

Doesn’t it seem like everyone is pregnant right now? We know one woman who gave birth earlier this month (boy - Santiago is his name.). TWO people gave birth on 1/25 (both girls - a Regan and a Genevieve). We know two women who are due in early February (one boy and one unknown). I’m due in March (so is a coworker – she’s having a boy). My friend Lyndsey (boy) is in April and Jaye is in June (girl).

That’s 9 babies! Good carp!

4 boys and 4 girls and 1 question mark.

Wouldn’t you just love it if I could somehow gather all of these women and their babies and place them on one big mat? And the babies would just lay there next to each other like little hams, all within six months of each other? Can you imagine all the stories we 9 moms would have to share?

Resolution Revolution

I've decided that my New Year's resolution is to stop making ridiculous faces in front of the camera. It always happens the same way: someone pulls out a camera, I think it'd be a great idea to be funny, I make a stupid face and later find out that my idea of a silly face just turns out horrifically unattractive.

Starting tomorrow. Because today I have some pictures from this weekend to prove just how bad these can get.

First of all, Shake 'Ems. Shake 'Ems are made by relaxing your face muscles, shaking your head vigorously from side to side and snapping a photo. Granted, the point of a Shake 'Em is not to look pretty. Nice one, Rem and Cole.This is what you get when Remi commands you to "look sneaky."

This face reminds me of the time that Michael and I played Cranium with Jaye and Derek and I had to act like Marlon Brando. I didn't know who Marlon Brando was, so I lost my turn and was promptly made fun of for not knowing who Marlon Brando was.

So I took another turn, and this is what became of it:

I don't think Brando was accused of being a good-looking man during this point in his life, so I doubt it speaks well of me that I seem to look like him often in pictures.

Babysitting, Brownies and Bathtime Bieber

Sleepovers at Auntie Julie and Uncle Michael's
Are sometimes augmented

With delicious sweet treats

For all to enjoy.

Favorite moment of the night: overhearing the following conversation during bath time.

Michael: What song are you singing?

Kai: I need somebody to love.

Michael: I know that song! Does it go like, "Can anybody find MEEEEE, somebody to LOOOOOVE?"

Kai: No.

Michael: Then how does it go?

Kai: "I need somebody to LOOOOOOVE"

Michael: That's a pretty cool song. I've been there. I know how he feels.

Kai: Me too.

Michael: You too?! You're three and a half!

Kai: So?

Michael: Oh, okay. I gotcha. Three and a half year-olds need somebody to love, too, huh?

Kai: Yeah.

A Cat's Sad Hour

I've noticed a pattern in my blog posts from when we hang out with Remi and Cole...we always end up doing things involving wildlife. In fact, our first outing with them was to the zoo. Since then, however, our bouts with living things also involve the death of those those living things, as seen here and here. (Actually, now that I look back on it, the zoo post also had a dead baby turtle, so we apparently can't get together without some poor creature suffering.)

I'm convinced that this blog post will cement in your mind that we are an accursed bunch who attract animal death. Also, that this post will get us on some PETA watchlist or something.

We headed over to Remi and Cole's on MLK Day to hang out, with ideas of complete normal non-animal-death related casual time. But as soon as we found out that a stray cat had died on their property and was just decomposing until they could figure out what to do with it, well, Michael insisted we get involved.I'm not entirely sure why Michael thought it would be best to climb up on the wall to try to get to the body from above.

Nor am I sure why Michael's the one getting all up in there while Cole watches from a safe distance. Major side-eye, Cole! This is a great shot of Michael reacting to the smell and sight of the poor creature.(I really wavered on wanting to post these pictures at all because I didn't think I could capture the "feel" of the day. I'm sure this is coming off as really sad or morbid, but as gross as it was, Remi and I were also laughing our heads off watching the guys try to work this out.)

Okay, people this is the part where things get gross. I managed to capture this image right as Michael was lifting the cat - in full-on rigor mortis - on its way to the garbage bag. IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO THESE KINDS OF THINGS, READ NO FURTHER!

And because I find this whole thing so disturbing, so grotesque and yet fascinating, I have a close-up for you.

SERIOUSLY PEOPLE, GROSS PICTURE AHEAD! DO NOT VIEW IF YOU ARE FEELING BARFY!

(*Shudders*)

Look how the cat is only half supported by the shovel, and yet the other half of the body still extends out as if supported. It looked like a very old, very dirty square of shag carpet. But I imagine the smell was quite worse than any carpet could possibly claim.

Michael considered throwing the cat over at us girls to have a good laugh. Considering that one of us was pregnant and the other one was carrying a 9 month-old baby, I think his decision to refrain was a smart one.

Cole was supposed to hold the garbage bag open, but the gag reflex is a strong one. By the end of it all, there were tears from laughing so hard, screaming, a lot of coughing and gagging, I had pee'd a little and had also shouted - from the laughter - "I think my belly button just popped out! I'm pretty sure my belly button just popped out!"

I can't imagine what Smith, the baby, thought of all of us adults.

Please don't report us to PETA.

The View from Here

I'm 31 weeks along as of this weekend - more than 3/4 of the way through! As you can see, there's no seeing my toes unless I lean forward.

It feels like time is passing so quickly. Wasn't it just last week that I was thrilled to be in the double digits (10 weeks along)?

Nursery Nesting

Is this what they call "nesting"? If so, I has it.

For some reason the just awful grammar used on the LOL Cats/I can has cheezburger site cracks. me. up. And normally I’m sort of a spelling and grammar policewoman, which is not a very charming quality in a person, if you didn't know. Especially when I sometimes misspell and grammaticize and make up words (recent ones include “competitious” and “grammaticize”). Anyway, it’s not as cute when you don’t have a picture of an adorable animal along with it.

I’m in the nesting phase, methinks.

Or maybe it’s not nesting so much as it is me realizing that this baby is going to be here in about two months and we don’t have her room done…not even close. We painted the “office” a lovely light yellow while both knowing that the “office” would soon become a “baby room.” We both knew it’d be nice to have a gender-neutral color. Problem is, now that we’re having a girl and we looked at bedding and everything, yellow just isn’t what we want.

We were originally just going to paint the walls some color and be done with it. But the more I think about it, the more I look at pictures, the more I’d like a little something to make it special. So let me run some nursery ideas past you and see what you think. I’ll try to create a poll so you can vote!

Our colors: pale pink, ivory, light brown, chocolate brown, accents of bright pink.

Some ideas for the walls:

Solid painted wall. Simplest option for a girl in a time crunch, with the exception of leaving the walls as-is (not an option). Color options: a light brown, an almost-white pink

A chair rail of some kind. This could get costly (we’d have to have someone come in and put one in) and is very permanent. We’d likely do a two-tone paint job above and below. Color options: many. I like the idea of dark brown below, ivory chair rail and ivory above.

Wall paper border. Splits up the vast expanse of wall the same way a chair rail does but is easier, cheaper and an easier modification if we decide we don’t like it. The problem is that we have textured walls and I’ve read that it’s really hard to get this right with textured walls. So we could just paint on a dark stripe to look like a border.

A stencil design or decal. This idea is really cute and I’ve seen it done a few different places and ways. It really gives you an asymmetrical design to the room, an accent, but has to look good to be pulled off. Color options: same as solid wall options above, probably with dark brown stencil, maybe a small bright pink accent like a bird, flower or butterfly:

Some kind of 3-D wall ornamentation. I’m kind of leaning toward this. This could be done with any combination of the above. You then stick these things on your walls to spice it up, either using adhesive or pins that go into the wall. This is a lot less permanent than any paint ornamentation and I love the texture it gives – it just pops out at you, you know? Color options: what I’m liking right now is a light brown with dark brown butterflies or butterflies in all of the colors mentioned above.

I wonder if I could make something like these myself? Am I getting too ambitious for someone with only two months to go?And don’t worry, Michael will be doing all the painting. I don’t have much of a hankering to expose BabyShock to paint fumes.

Please vote in my poll which idea you like the most, or comment with suggestions of your own!

Baby Sneaks

A trip to the Nike Outlet store normally leaves me bored while Michael peruses the aisles for sneaks.

This time, however, I had things to distract me.
So what if they're overpriced?

Day Care Debate

Michael and I have settled on which day care we're going to use for when I go back to work. I'm getting 12 weeks off, if you're wondering. I only legally get 6 weeks because I haven't been at this new job long enough, but I asked for 12 weeks and they kindly gave it to me.

The day care we're going with is actually considered a school. It's also, quite frankly, pretty expensive. It was not the most expensive place I've seen, but it was the most expensive place we truly considered. In the end, I think it's worth it. If I can't be with my girl, if I have to leave her in the care of someone else, I want it to be with the people that are really top notch, you know?

Day care. I have such conflicting feelings about the whole thing.

The world is really separated into the divisions of working moms and stay at home moms (SAHMs). There are some pretty strong feelings out there about these two options and the thing that bothers me the most is how passionately people feel that one is better than the other. I wish this world didn't feel like such a competition all the time. Is it just me that feels this way?

A part of me would love to stay at home with my kid(s). I've heard the old saying, "Why have kids if you're not going to be the one to raise them?" The idea of being away from our baby girl all day does make me sad sometimes, especially when I think that I might not be there when she takes her first unassisted steps or says her first word. How much easier some things would be if I could stay at home! I could breastfeed without worries (no awkward pumping breaks scheduled into my work day). I could take naps throughout the day when my baby napped to catch up on some sleep I'd lost in the night. I could get other things done during the day, too. (I'm not saying that life as a SAHM is a cake walk, I'm just saying that - and I think we can all agree on this - SAHMs have to do the laundry at some point in the day/week. Working moms have to do the same laundry at some point, but they also don't have the hours between 7am-6pm to do it.)

If I drop my daughter off at daycare at 7am and pick her up around 5pm, how much time can I really spend with her before she's asleep for the night? How can I make those fleeting hours count? Will she still even view me as her Mom? She'll spend more waking hours with the staff at the school.

These thoughts make me sad and make me wish I could stay home.

And then other thoughts make me glad I'm going back to work. I'll start off with my most selfish reason: I want to have an identity outside of "Mom." I've known for my whole life that I want to be a mother. Oh, how I want(ed) to have kids! But I also wanted to do something, be something. I wanted to contribute something to the outside world. So, yes, I'll admit that I selfishly feel like I would be unhappy without some kind of adult, intellectual stimulation in my day. I think I'd go just a little crazy if I spent all day, every day speaking in motherese. I want the title of "Mother" to be a huge part of my life, probably the best part of my life, but I don't want it to be the only part of my life. I'd also like to contribute ideas to projects, to be able to solve problems for the organization, be held to some standards and responsible for something big.

I also think that day care could be a good thing for BabyShock. I visited our selected school twice, sitting in the infant room and observing. I read through the infant "curriculum." I saw the daily schedule for the infants. I just don't think that I have the ability (mentally, emotionally, physically) to provide that kind of developmental support day after day. I don't know if I'd have the discipline to find social interaction time with other kids, teach basic sign language, have educational music time, reading time, exercise time...every single day. Maybe I underestimate myself. I'm sure if I were home every day I would be able to do some great things with the babe. But I also think that the people who work at the school might be able to provide her with a more dependable learning environment than I can provide.

I've already told some people about the plan to return to work after the babe is here. I've already gotten the holier-than-thou people who think I'm doing a terrible thing by essentially abandoning my child to strangers from the street. But I've also come across some people that were very reassuring. These people remind me that different things work for different women, and going with one way of child-rearing isn't a life-long commitment.

I'm sure I'll go through another million cycles of going back and forth on this debate in my head before the baby is born. But still, we're going to try this route and hope that it works as well as I'm planning. I have a good feeling about the school we picked, I've got a full 12 weeks off work, I've got a husband who's helpful and kind... and I'm feeling good.