With What the Road to Hell is Paved

I took June to the library last week so that she could be introduced to that musty, magical building full of adventures.

I read this blog that was titled "What Your Favorite Disney Movie Says about You." Though the whole thing is silly, I did like the description of Beauty and the Beast because of how true it is:

"Some people have porn, you have that scene where Beast reveals to Belle the library that he is now giving over to her, as he knows it’s what she would love more than anything in the world. No human being will ever romantically live up to you in your life now, as no one will be able to present you with an 8,000 square-foot Baroque library in the middle of a French castle to use at your discretion."

I remember seeing this meme one time of a picture of Belle with some kind of phrase over it about how "reading is hot" or something. DO NOT GOOGLE IMAGE "Belle reading is hot"... JUST DON'T DO IT. I have accidentally seen about 8 penises today, folks. But then searching for "Belle Bookworm" also came up with penises? So maybe we just don't search with Google that much anymore. (Penis count up to 15.)

I got a new book on tape at the library, Anna Karenina. I've never read any Tolstoy but I read the plot and headed to the checkout counter, also carrying a copy of Mommy Calls Me Monkeypants for the Junebug (it's a page turner!). It turns out that this isn't exactly a direct reading of Anna Karenina, it's more of a...I don't know, a theatrical portrayal of it? Kind of like you're listening to a recorded play. It's really weird because there are several times where you hear utensils against dishes and I can only guess that I'm supposed to assume they're at dinner? No one every said they were at a dinner, and the scenes just kind of start and stop without warning, fading away with sound bites (train whistles, crickets chirping) or classical music.

Anyway, June and I were in the car together on a half hour drive and I figured I could listen to my book on tape. What better time to expose one's child to the classics than the present?! Think of how her vocabulary will be affected! Maybe "acquiescence" or "heretofore" will be her first word!

But then the romance scene started. Maybe I would have felt differently if it had been an actual reading of the novel... "Vronsky kissed Anna passionately..." wouldn't be so bad to listen to with your 7 month old baby in the back seat. However, theatrical portrayal version of book on tape instead included sound effects. By that I mean slurping sounds, moans, sighs, gasps, shrieks and the like. A solid 15 seconds of sex noises with not a single word of narration (besides "Oh Anna!").

I had to turn it off. Prude as it may seem, I just couldn't listen to literary orgasms while my baby was babbling in the back seat. Guess she'll have to wait a few more years for the classics.

There's Something...Familiar about That Baby...

June loves playing in front of the mirror. I finally decided to capture some of her funny faces on camera. So I know that these aren't high quality (point and shoot camera) and the lighting is weird (CFL lights) and they're blurry (June's really into dramatic hand gestures), but I hope you enjoy them like I do.

This one might be my favorite:
I'm not really sure if June realizes that her reflection is her or if she just thinks there is a hilarious baby in front of her, but she cracks up and pounds her little hands against the mirror as she babbles at her reflection.
Whose foot...?


And then, of course, there are kisses/attempted eating of her mirror friend.

Blink

I've discovered something.

I am a much better shopper now that I have June. Specifically, I'm a much better shopper now that I have June but when I am not with her and have a set amount of time before I have to get back to the house where she is.

I remember one Sunday when Michael offered to hang out with June while I ran out to get some new work clothes/clothes that don't make me feel like my fashion equivalent is Pam from The Office. I spent about an hour in one huge store and walked away with two bags full of new outfit material. What I suspect to be the reason for this unprecedented success: the Blink theory.

When in shopping circumstances like mentioned above, I am forced to make decisions quickly and almost automatically. The author of Blink basically says that we are able to gather the most useful information in a very short amount of time - that spontaneous decisions are often the most accurate or best-suited. Having too much time can sometimes interfere with the ability to make correct decisions. This is why I have decided that speed shopping is the way to go.

BUT WAIT, because here's the good part.

Saturday. I needed flats. Michael watched June. I had about 90 minutes before she was due to eat again. AND THIS IS WHAT I FOUND:

I'm in love.

I think I'm going to try to find some ribbon laces.

Look how versatile! You can wear your jeans tucked in!

Guess how much!

$8.

I know. I didn't believe it either. I found a pair of these bad boys in the Clearance section but they were a size six. Since I'm not a pixie, I moved on with a shattered heart. There were no other sizes. Until I found one last pair hiding behind a pair of snakeskin pumps and some confused wedges. And I looked at the size and ... angel choir singing. After picking myself up off the floor, I sprinted to the checkout line and made my way home to model my new kicks to the family.

Even Michael likes them. And June, but she's a given...she smiles at everything.

And lastly - 400th post, y'all!

Midnight Parenting

Last night was a first in our family household. June's been sick before, sickness has affected her sleep before, and Michael and I have learned a thing or two about parental sacrifice, helplessness and heart-breakingness in the past seven months. But last night still felt like a first.

June must have thrown up 20 times last night.

We went through three bed sheets, two mattress covers, one sleep sack, two pairs of pajamas and uncountable towels, wash clothes and wipes. The poor thing was laying in a puddle when we first checked on her after she let out a cry around 10pm. That started a marathon of alternately hugging her, rocking her on my lap and holding her over the bathroom sink as she threw up. Her cries were so sad, so not-understanding-y, so OH-GOD-WHY-ME? that they broke my heart.

In the beginning we were frantic. I was nearly in tears and Michael was sprinting off into the dark house saying "I'll Google things!" He came back with information from Dr. Sears who is and has been my medical crush. A few hours later June was falling asleep in my arms and on my lap, waking up exactly every 20 minutes to heave and vomit a little more. She'd give a whimper and then fall back asleep.

I'd like to caption this photograph (taken from Michael's phone)

"Motherhood: Willingness to Capture Baby Puke in Hand while Not Wearing Pants"

And pretty soon it's almost two am and your mind starts thinking weird things, like maybe it'd be totally reasonable to wear three sweaters at a time if the colors complemented each other and they had different necklines? Dark purple would have to be one of the colors for it to make sense. I'm not really sure where I ended up in this train of thought, except I still agree about the purple?

Eventually June was asleep in her crib. She woke once crying and Michael started to get up to go to her. I facepalmed him while hurdling over his body and sprinted into her room. She was fine. She slept through after that and smiled for her Daddy when he went to get her out of her crib this morning.

The first of many nights spent awake and comforting an ailing child, I'm sure. As Michael said last night, there will be so many more times where June and our other future kids get hurt or are in pain and we will be willing to do anything if it meant we could take it away from them. But we can't, so we just have to keep hugging her close and rocking her and murmuring things in her ear, anything to make those hours pass a little easier. So we will.

Pants optional.

Second Helpings of Cupcake

Those few pictures from the Halloween post just weren't enough, were they?

I didn't think so.

The Walk to End Alzheimer's

It was an early Saturday morning, and a cold one to boot, but it was a morning for a cause.


The Walk to End Alzheimer's!


June and I dressed alike in black pants and purple - the signature color of the event.
Michael even walked despite having his boot on! Dedication of a husbandly nature!
And my mom walked too - June loves her Vivi!
It was one of those first cold Arizona mornings which made it extra great. We got to bundle up in sweatshirts and enjoy some hot coffee before the Walk started.

Our team - the Waltzers Against Alz'ers - raised about $500 for the cause! My friend Annie joined us along with her sisters and Mom.
The flowers were pinwheels that were given out to participants at the beginning. Purple represented you knowing someone with Alzheimer's, yellow meant you were a supporter of someone with Alzheimer's and blue meant you had the disease.

One of Annie's niece's wanted blue SO BADLY that they got her one, which was so cute and funny. We hope no one saw her and was worried about super-onset.


There were a lot of people wearing tee-shirts with pictures or names of loved ones on them. This man carried a picture of his relative the whole way.
At the end of the walk you could keep your flower or place it in the "garden," where many people had written messages of love on the petals and leaves.
The walk was three miles long but it had a shortcut to make it one mile long. We ended up taking the uncharted two mile route after missing the turnoff for the shortcut but also being unwilling to walk that extra mile (see: Michael's foot less than a month after surgery). June hung out in the stroller the whole time and babbled at passers by.


I was so happy to spend the morning this way - supporting something larger than myself, something that I believe in, something that I'm passionate about. I'm proud of the money we raised toward ending Alzheimer's and I truly hope that one day we'll know how to cure or prevent this terrible, terrible disease.

7 Months Old!

Our girl turned 7 months today!

She had a big day of Walking to End Alzheimer's, but more about that on a different post.
What do you think, are those eyes going to stay blue?
Our Junebug:

• Is sitting up, pulling herself to her feet (while holding on to our hands, body) and enjoying long stretches of standing up while holding on to the couch, etc.
• Is eating solids twice a day. She's a little fickle. One day she'll gobble down a ton of solids and the next day she'll only eat a few bites. We're not forcing it.
• Loves making noise. Her favorite sounds are "Ga!Ga!" "Ma!Ma!" "Da!Da!" and a few "Ba!Ba!" but nothing we're counting as true first words yet. Her favorite, though, is shrieking at loud volumes, blowing raspberries and laughing.
• Is all about fine motor skills. She loves picking up her Binks, moving it from hand to hand and then placing it in her mouth.
• Isn't crawling but she's got some movement going. She'll move from the sitting-up position to her hands and knees and sort of crawl outwards but can't really put all the movements together long-term. So anything within a 3 foot radius is fair game.
• No teeth yet! We've been pretty convinced that she's teething for about 3 months now with nothing to show for it. She's so funny...she loves chewing on Michael's nose and my chin. She giggles while she does it and I laugh my head off.
• Is starting to grow some hair! See?

Sanctity

By now we've all heard about Kim Kardashian and her new divorce. She and her husband were married for 72 days. According to TMZ, when you figure in how much money they spent on the wedding, this amounts to a staggering $138,888 for every day they spent married.

Good thing we're not allowing gay people to get married. It would sure detract from the sanctity of marriages...you know, like the one of our girl Kim.

Here's an interesting fact: there are more states that allow marriage between first cousins than between people of the same sex (SOURCE).

A Mustachey Halloween

A very happy Halloween to all of you!


To celebrate, I'd like to share with you (a great many) pictures taken from our little Halloween party on Saturday night. The first two attendees were, of course, Michael and June.
After buying June's cupcake costume we thought about going as pastry chefs, but it didn't work out. Would have been funny though!

Remi showed up soon...her costume was so cute!











Here June models a smooch from Rem's awesome lipstick.

So I think that one needs some explaining. See, another little project I did was make all these mustaches for the party. I even made some baby-sized ones knowing that I wouldn't be able to resist putting some one June. So from here on out be prepared for a lot of mustaching around.

Including this picture, which is so funny to me. The way Smith is looking at his mom is so adorable.

SuperSmith giving June a kiss goodbye:

JP and Kai (or should I say Purdue Letterman and Ironman) wanted to model their 'staches too.

Our little cupcake!
June was taking a costume break when a gorilla arrived. She was surprisingly not afraid at all...must be an older age where they learn to fear large apes that sound like friends named Jeremy?

The gorilla brought Little Red, Nicola, who is expecting her first baby!

Watching June and Matteo together is always a ton of fun.



JP had a Grease-esque costume change...from nerd into greaser!

This is also one of my favorites of the night:
Too many mustaches to choose from! Kai couldn't make up his mind so he went for the comb and the barber.
The manly men and their mustaches:
And the girls (June was napping), first cute:
Then 'stached up:
I had a great time and I hope you have an equally great Halloween night!