Thursday, April 26, 2012

Separation Anxiety

Tomorrow I leave to go to California for the wedding of one of my New Zealand friends. I’m so happy for the couple, so excited to see my six-pack of girls, so pumped to wedding dance


But I’m also having anxiety, serious anxiety.

This is the first time I will have been away from June for more than 10 hours. Last night while nursing June to sleep, I got a little choked up. This morning June was a little fussy and Michael was holding her but she leaned for me, and Michael said, “There are some things only Mama can fix.” And I shouted “ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME CANCEL MY TRIP?” (That last quote is not actually historically accurate.)

It’s not an issue of Michael being able to handle it. He is more than fully capable of being on June duty 100% for a few days. It’s just that I think about me missing her and I think about her missing me. Will she be confused why Mama isn’t there to nurse her before bed? Or why Mama isn’t around to play with her at all? What if she looks for me and I’m not there?

I know it’ll be great, I know I’ll have a blast with my friends and bask in the glory of sleeping later than 6 AM and have an awesome pre-mom weekend…but…mah baaaaayybeeeeee!

Any tips for a mom who is going to be away from her baby for the first time? Should I take a plastic bag of her dirty laundry and smell it and hold it to me as I weep in the empty hotel bathtub? Any tips on stopping myself from starting every sentence with “One time my baby June…”? Can anyone tell me why I can download Skype to my phone but not create a new account from it?

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