Monday, January 9, 2012

Off the (band)Wagon

Things that many (most?) people like that I don’t:
  • Champagne. I would choose a Jack and Coke over this nose-tickling, dry, tasteless beverage any day of the week. Which either makes me trashy or awesome because - as anyone who listens to Country music could tell you - your social worth is 100% determined by a preference of whiskey over wine. (Though, let’s be clear: I’m not hating on all wine here, just Champagne.)
  • The English Patient. When I saw that episode of Seinfeld where Elaine is the only person who hates The English Patient, my jaw hit the floor and then I danced like Elaine.
  • Brown rice. Wait – does anyone really like brown rice? Please don’t tell me you like brown rice. It’s tasteless and has a bad texture and is terrible.
  • Toms. I know that these are in right now, I know that they contribute money to great causes, etc. I just can’t get on this bandwagon. NMS.

  • Twitter. I get annoyed when people use their Facebook status to give me mundane life details. (“Drinkin’ coffee!!!”) I don’t want to subscribe to an entire site made out for this purpose.
  • Taylor Swift. I have a whole list of reasons why I don’t like this completely lovable American Sweetheart. Mostly they boil down to overexposure (She’s played on Country, Top 40 and what I can only describe as ‘Mom Channels’ (‘80’s, ‘90’s and Today!) and I’m pretty sure I heard them play one of her songs on the smooth jazz station the other day. Since I have all of these stations programmed into my car, this means I am constantly bombarded with her simple, sweet tones). Also: SHE’S A LIAR. “She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts…she wears high heels, I wear sneakers.” I have never seen Taylor when she is in anything but a skirt and heels. Taylor, YOU ARE THE PRETTY, POPULAR GIRL. Ugh.
  • Artificial cherry and grape flavor.
  • Any sort of crime scene or detective show.
  • Julia Roberts. Can’t really explain this one.
  • Talking about what dreams you/I had last night. I know I’m a horrible person but every time someone starts a lengthy description of their dream I have to physically force myself to remain attentive.

2 comments:

  1. I love reading your blog :). But can I just say that your last one had me cracking up because I randomly had a dream the other night with you, Amy and Erik, and your family and I almost emailed you explaining the dream.....phew...that was a close one...haha. Note to self, if I have a dream about Julie keep it to myself :). Oh yeah, I second you on the champagne thing....disgusting. Have a good week!

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  2. Hi Athena,

    Thanks for your comment! I really enjoy reading your blog and oogling you adorable babes! Here’s a list of other peoples’ dreams as they rate in interest to me:

    1. Dreams of prophetic nature. i.e. “I dreamed that I got in a car wreck and this morning I got in a car wreck!”
    2. Dreams involving me. i.e. “I had a dream last night that you were pregnant/got in a car wreck (see item #1)/had fangs!”
    3. Dreams that have serious psychological implications. i.e. “I dreamed that I was being tied up in rope and my Aunt Tess was tying the knots and my childhood friend was in the corner playing chess!”
    4. Dreams that are boring and/or you give too many details. i.e. “I dreamed that I was eating lunch, but it was really funny because I normally eat egg salad cold but my egg salad was warm. And I normally have it on white bread, but this time it was on wheat bread! Isn’t that crazy?! Then I had a pickle…”

    So, you see, your dream looks like it would have ranked pretty high up there! Huzzah!

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