When I picked June up from daycare on Monday I watched her for a minute through the window into her classroom. When she saw me standing out there, her face lit up. This is not unusual. What was special this day was that she sat down and started crawling toward me with a huge smile on her face. After I picked up all the little shattered pieces of my exploded heart, I walked into the classroom. She continued to crawl toward me while giggling until I picked her up. May I never forget what this felt like.
The other night, after feeding June, she started to fall asleep in my arms. I pulled her up so she was leaned against my chest and she fell deeper asleep. Unless she’s in a carrier I always set her down in her crib when she’s sleeping. But I was alone and the house was quiet and her face was turned up toward mine and I just held her while she slept. And her Binky fell out, and her little mouth kept making that little sucking movement in her sleep. And her little face was so peaceful and trusting, and she looks just like a little combination of Michael and me. May I never forget what this feels like.
Michael takes June to daycare in the mornings so I say my goodbyes before they leave. This morning I gave June a kiss on the lips and she gave me a kiss back. Her version of a kiss was an open mouth with tongue out, which I found so funny that I gave her three more kisses. By the last time she leaned forward and gave a little gasp in happy anticipation. May I never forget what this feels like.